"Enlightenment is not imagining figures of light but making the darkness conscious." - Carl Jung
The last few days have been decidedly darker
. After our little incident with the man in the street, I have been more nervous than ever before to travel and explore. I'm actually surprised by how much it has shaken my confidence. I also came down with the cold that's circulating the Academia - a very sore throat and ear ache. I am just now surfacing and am beginning to feel like myself again. On top of all of this, I also continue to feel pretty lonely after the departure of so many good people.
This is common, I know, to feel empty and adrift in the beginnings of any adventure. No matter if you're in a foreign country or in a new city or simply starting a new job! In the wise words of my father, it takes 90 days to make anything feel familiar. This is both comforting and daunting as I have no idea if I'll be here for more than 90 days. Just as I finally get acclimated, I may very well be making yet another change. It's overwhelming.
I have yet to find any leads on jobs within Uruguay
. There are plenty in Chile and in Brazil, and of course Asia, but I don't want to uproot myself just yet to jet off to another location. First and foremost, I knew in my heart that I wanted to be in Uruguay. I'm not really sure why, I just knew. So I still have faith that an opportunity will arise here - whether that opportunity will eventually take me to another country or location, time will tell, but I think it will originate in Montevideo. Here's hoping my intuition is tuned to the right station!
Aside from loneliness and illness, the last few days have been more or less pleasant. I feel very comfortable and at home at the Academia - I love my little room and my routine here. As I mentioned before I have my grocery store, my laundry, a few cafes that I really like... and best of all I am thoroughly enjoying my classes. I got bumped up to level three, and finally feel challenged. I have a fantastic teacher, Gaston, who makes learning fun and enjoyable. I am not only learning Spanish, but about Uruguayan life and culture.
The hardest thing for me so far is not having a sense of purpose. Maybe this is my challenge - learning to let go and just be. All will be as it should be, and I am blessed to have a bubble of time that I don't have to do anything except enjoy being young and free. I need to shake that "American" need to DO something. Every night I try to remind myself of this, but try as I might I can't help but worry about my future and what I should be doing.
I equate this to what Jung illustrates with the above quote. Right now I'm simply imagining figures of light; blips of a future that could be. Eventually these will fade, and the overall picture (or darkness) will become conscious for me. Slowly my purpose will unveil itself when the universe is ready for me to understand it. Patience and faith!!!
Waiting for Consciousness
Tuesday, July 31, 2012
Montevideo, Montevideo, Uruguay
Other Entries
-
1The Question:
Jun 2239 days priorPhoenix, United Statesphoto_camera1videocam 0comment 1 -
2Seven
Jul 1912 days priorMiami, United Statesphoto_camera2videocam 0comment 3 -
3Brazilians, Sim Cards and Learning to Cook
Jul 2110 days priorMontevideo, Uruguayphoto_camera3videocam 0comment 5 -
4Life Unfolding
Jul 229 days priorMontevideo, Uruguayphoto_camera4videocam 0comment 1 -
5Trust in the Promise of Joy
Jul 247 days priorMontevideo, Uruguayphoto_camera1videocam 0comment 5 -
6Get Comfortable with Being Uncomfortable
Jul 274 days priorPunta Gorda, Uruguayphoto_camera8videocam 0comment 3 -
7Waiting for Consciousness
Jul 31Montevideo, Uruguayphoto_camera13videocam 0comment 1 -
8Forgetting How to Swim
Aug 055 days laterColonia Del Sacramento, Uruguayphoto_camera25videocam 0comment 0 -
9Perfectly Lonely
Aug 1212 days laterBuenos Aires, Argentinaphoto_camera21videocam 0comment 0 -
10Continuing the Journey
Aug 1818 days laterColonia del Sacramento, Uruguayphoto_camera1videocam 0comment 1 -
11Siempre Colonia
Aug 2121 days laterColonia del Sacramento, Uruguayphoto_camera19videocam 0comment 4 -
12Adept at Adrift
Sep 0334 days laterSan Telmo, Argentinaphoto_camera14videocam 0comment 2 -
13Meandering Momentum
Sep 1142 days laterSan Telmo, Argentinaphoto_camera18videocam 0comment 3 -
14Extenuating Expectations
Oct 0162 days laterPalermo Hollywood, Argentinaphoto_camera11videocam 0comment 0 -
15Capturing Clarity in the Glorious Pursuit of Life
Oct 0263 days laterGlendale, United Statesphoto_camera29videocam 0comment 0
Comments

2025-02-06
Comment code: Ask author if the code is blank
Betty Graham
2012-08-03
Hang in there, Caitlin,\. We are all routing for you. I really enjoy your comments. Your comments have the making of a book.
Fondly, Betty Graham