Not the ship... but US.

Never again can we face travelling on a long-haul flight!

We're both wrecked and ruined for any more flights in steerage now we know about the pleasures of leisurely ship voyages .
 
Having never been on a proper cruise before – I don't count the voyage by ocean liner 'Australis’ back in ‘72 – here’s my distillation of this Viking river cruise experience.

Accommodation

Our cabin, compared to the Australis, was lovely – comfortable and with a place for everything. I couldn’t wish for more. Now I know what's meant by 'ship-shape'.

The rooms were beautifully maintained (I saw the girls carefully arranging pillows in the cabin next door).

And even though we were right near the main desk, which could get busy at times, we weren’t really disturbed. 

What WAS disturbing – no fault of Viking but rather the geography and the river itself – was never knowing what time of night/day it was in the ‘sleeping’ hours!

Waking at 3 am – a frequent occurrence – and checking the time – peeking through the curtains and seeing dawn light—and then waking a couple of hours later to darkness was somewhat unsettling .

Why?

We were in a lock.

Food 

Excellent! At the first special dinner the chef came around asking how it was and I said the veal roast was very dry. His face fell and he looked absolutely shattered. 

Even though it really was quite dry I felt terrible, especially when everything after that was superb. I made a point of telling him so at the next VERY good dinner. 

A few meals were real standouts.Rack of lamb one night was beautifully and unexpectedly tender and pink inside with a tasty ratatouille. Another was a Russian salmon and spinach in light puff pastry. The Russian soups were delicious and not at all a gluey mess of purple beetroot as I'd feared.

How they do it all so well on a ship is a mystery . 

 We tended to just have bircher muesli for breakfast, a soup and salad for lunch, and try the Russian dishes in the evening.

The beer, kir royale and Russian lemonade on leaving different ports were of course great!

The Entertainment

This started out at the start of the cruise in a rather genteel way with soft crooning by a Filipino couple (singer/ pianist), but ending on a rather raucous note by the end of the trip, being somewhat hijacked by a few fun-loving passengers. 

 I can't just blame the Americans - though there was one very large and highly stereotypical redneck Texan who just loved grabbing the mic and singing country and western songs. The Indians, Brits ... Canadians... Aussies....(all two of us) were also to blame for this rackety turn of events. 

Dolly Parton and Patsy Kline gave way to Credence and Bon Jovi -- although even then, Frank Sinatra's New York New York had us up doing some kind of weird line can can routine .
 
Information Sessions

Regular briefings by the program director, Doug - who must never sleep - were great and kept us very clear on what was coming up,

Then there were a series of talks given by the wonderful tour guides who also seemed to survive on only a few hours of kip. Historical, political and economic subjects dominated which were of greatest interest to most passengers. 

 The last session had all three in a Q&A - interesting to hear how they're taxed at 15% flat rate with a national health system similar to that in the UK. Putin is popular because of the stability of the economy now. After hearing of the economic hardship after the collapse of the Soviet Union I started to understand why.

They do have a great sense of humour though - and are realistic. Driving past the KGB HQ on one tour, Natasha told us the joke about how it was the tallest building in Russia . If you stand on the roof, you get to see Siberia. Boom boom!

John, our new English friend, shared our wish for more on the ecology of the area we were sailing through. He was always out on deck with his binoculars peering at the shore and together we tried to figure out what we might be seeing but without much success. What we did know for sure though was that it was fabulous.
 
Tours

Mostly crowded in the usual hot spots like the Hermitage and Kremlin, but nothing can be done about that. What was impressive was that Viking arranged, wherever possible -- such as the Catherine Palace and Peterhof -- for our groups to get in before the regular opening time so we had a clear run before the hordes hit.

The best tours really were the quirky ones such as the home visit and the smaller places along the waterways. We liked going off on our own too -- just exploring at leisure and seeing what living in Russia was like .

The metro -- both in St Petersburg and Moscow -- were great to experience though we were a bit panicked at one station in Moscow that had many lines converging and not knowing where to go. Not being able to read Russian didn't help. Some friendly young soldiers managed to cobble together enough English to get us to the right escalator to take us up to the right level and eventually to the right platform. Phew! 
 
Personnel
 
I have no idea when these people rest. Or how they maintain their enthusiasm and energy day after day, night after night.

I take my hat off to them. 

Especially to Doug, the program director, who managed to solve problems, organise tours -- as well as passengers -- day after day without a hitch.

AND the chef who has to cater for American expectations mainly as they seemed to be the dominant group but also those of us who are more European in our tastes . Not an easy task.

AND the three tour guides who accompanied us-- always with a sense of humour, ready to answer dumb questions, and with the enviable ability to get everyone on and off a crowded Metro station without anyone getting lost of falling on the tracks. 

I must admit to being very nervous on that score while standing on Metro platforms. 

The trains are VERY fast and noisy -- and the ending of Anna Karenina is hard to get out of your mind. A bit like beaches and Jaws and showers and Psycho.
 
All in all, the Viking experience was extraordinarily good. It was a nice change to be guided on and off trains, planes and ships and to have every need cared for.

Flying back on BA from Moscow to Heathrow, jammed together with a very large lady in the aisle seat, rubbery inedible 'turkey meatballs' and overflowing overhead lockers after all that was misery!

Now we have to gather lots of roots and berries while here in Chipping Campden so as to save enough money to get back to Sydney the only way we can face - by ocean liner.