The first 2 weeks in March, I was supposed to go to Canada to join Connor, his Dad & Stepmum on a skiing holiday, but things went a bit pear shaped in the whole parent/teenager relations department and I pulled the pin, changed my flights and went to Gili Trawangan.
Once again, and it's getting tediously repetitive, I wasn't in a good place when I departed
. Lost and lonely are the best words to describe the somewhat pathetic state of mind I was in. Ugh..lonely! I've rarely felt lonely despite the fact I've been single for ages. But that's what it was ,,and it was ugly.
I knew Gili T was the place to go. For a start two of the local lads are good friends and it doesn't take long around the average dive shop to meet people. My kind of people, who dive , and travel and don't think I take "too many holidays"!
It's a pretty good indication of how not lonely I was since I never got around to writing one word on this blog the whole time I was away!
I might have packed a little too much into just 11 days on the island with 10 dives and 6 yoga classes !! but that's me..go hard or go home :)
I was doing what I love,,diving and yoga.. connecting with like minded souls and kindred spirits .
Like I said on my facebook status one day..it occured to me I had arrived there with a head too full and an empty heart but it didn't take long for that situation to be reversed ..full heart/ empty head!
I also felt completely present in each moment and in my body, leading to a feeling that this was real life
..more real to me than playing lofty dentist.
Speaking of which.. got lots of requests from the bule's on Gili T to work there as a dentist. I don't know..we'll see. Anything could happen next year.
I was truly happy and content there. Even though I was asking myself a lot..are you sure you could live here ? The answer is..I could but I don't know for how long... and that's ok.
I went looking at blocks of land to buy with my friend Reza. Great to have a local I trust but buying land in Indonesia is an extremely confusing and complicated issue for foreigners! I'll have to be careful not to slide back into my rut of responsibility and stress and debt etc.
The diving was great. I tried a couple of shops and decided on Trawangan Dive to do my rescue course when I go back in September.
I left some gear with Reza..that was a nice feeling
Many years ago..about 25yrs, I was discussing with a close friend how much I loved the Greek island of Ios. Much in the same way as I feel truly alive and the best version of myself when I'm in Gili T, that's how it was for me back then about Ios
. Anyway, he suggested to me that I should go there to work if I loved it so much and I remember replying that I didn't want to because then I would have nowhere to escape to.
I guess at 25yrs old I still believed that it was OK for life to be a grind most of the time as long as I had a holiday to look forward to, to keep me going. I'm sure I had no sense of my own mortality. I thought that I had all the time in the world.
Now I know that I don't. Now the thought of spending the rest of my life in a state of external happiness and inner peace is very appealing.
I'm really not sure how long I'll spend on Gili Trawangan and I don't know the path my life will take after that, and I like that . I do know that I want to go and stay till I'm ready to leave
So watch this space..I'll let you know when I do :)
Doing what I love
Sunday, March 31, 2013
Gili Trawangan, West Nusa Tenggara, Indonesia
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