Back to the future

Tuesday, July 09, 2013
Belfast, N Ireland, United Kingdom
As you can see above, I wrote this original post in July 2013, not long after returning from a trip to Europe. 
The Greek island of Ios, on which I spent the happiest days and weeks of my younger life, managed once again to be instrumental in altering its course again for the better. 
I went back to Ios again this year (Aug 2015...to visit Erin funny enough!! ) and although it wasn't quite as special this time, as it was 2 years ago.. it was still amazing , and I know I will always feel a real connection and deep sense of happiness when I'm there.
I'm not sure why I never published this blog. Perhaps life got very busy as it was just around this time that I decided to embrace a whole new chapter of gypsy lifestyle.
At that time I had no idea how it would turn out. It was just a leap of faith.
I thought since I've just taken the next big step on that journey (selling my house), and since Erin asked me... that now would be a good time to publish the story of when it started.
Here it is....
 

On May 12th (2013), Erin and I returned to Ireland. Specifically Northern Ireland where I was born and spent the first 19 years of my life. Mostly we went to see my family again. Two brothers, sisters-in-law, parents, cousins etc.
Erin had finished school and was thinking of spending part of her gap year in Ireland and I was looking forward to regaining a sense of belonging which I had lost in Tathra, even in Australia. There's nothing like returning to the bosom of family, with all its trials and tribulations , to remind you of where you come from. I'm so fortunate to feel like my family is a jigsaw puzzle and there's a piece that is Diane shaped which only I can fill.
We had 11 days at 'home' before we went to the Greek Islands for 12 days. Not just any Greek Island , but a return for me to Ios after some 29 years!
I spent a good chunk of 4 summers on this island when I was between 17 and 22yrs old. I made friends who I've kept despite lack of internet, for 30 years. I lived like a hippy making and selling woven bracelets on the steps to the beach. It was heaven to me. A whole new world I never dreamed could exist and I became a new and a better person when I was there. 
It is a place so dear to my heart, so important and irreplaceable in my memories, that before now I had been afraid to go back. Afraid in case those precious memories would be changed or even erased. But somehow, I knew this was the right time..I was ready to see it again, come what may.
I prepared myself for massive changes, hoping only for a few glimpses of the past and a few moments when I could immerse myself in the memories and some nostalgic reminiscing.
I wanted to take Erin with me. We've had some rocky times in the last few years and I thought what a bonding and hopefully healing experience it would be to take her to my special place before she headed off on her traveling gap year.
It turned out to be more than I could ever have imagined.
From the moment the ferry rounded the headland and pulled into Chora Port, I was transported to a place in limbo between the perfect past and the blissful present , and there I stayed for my whole time on the island.
Everywhere I went I could feel echoes of the past all around me, like a hint of perfume carried on a summer breeze, or a few bars of a favourite song. There one second then gone again, they followed me like my shadow. They were part of me. I could feel them, smell them, almost touch them.... but I just couldn't hold them.  
Several times, it brought me to tears. More happy tears than sad ones, and an overwhelming sense of gratitude about the life I have had, and am still having.
My time there, rather than erasing those precious memories, actually enhanced them and made another layer of new memories to lay on top of the old ones.                 
 The thing I didn't see coming was that Erin would fall in love with Ios and its magic all over again, 30 years after I did! Falling for her intoxicating charms she stayed in Ios after I left , to work for the rest of the summer. Oh the great circle of life is an amazing thing!   
After Ios , came 10 more days in Ireland, and I was ready for my other home in Australia.
I was gasping for freedom, independence and autonomy, the same reasons I came here all those years ago. 
However, the time spent in Ios recapturing youthful enthusiasm and in Ireland filling that space in the jigsaw puzzle , had fulfilled my sense of belonging, recharged the batteries and topped up my self esteem thereby giving me the courage and confidence to make a plan for the future... to chase my dreams.
So here's the reality..my 18yr old twins are on a gap year between school and University. They'll be moving to Melbourne at the end of the year. I'd be lying if I said the last 2 years of parenting teenage twins has been easy. My sanity and my liver say there's no going back....but... the thought of a future remaining in my empty Tathra nest, is equally terrifying.
So I've decided that I'm going to leave home too! 
I've just quit my regular job. I'm going to rent out the house, take a casual position as a locum dentist part time, and when I'm not working I'll travel. 
I'd like to become a divemaster and spend more time in Gili T, maybe experience life in an Indian ashram, trek in Nepal, finally get to South America!
I'm starting my bucket list early.
How exciting and how wonderful to be looking forward to the future again :) 
   
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