Hey Hey and a Big G'Day toya,

Are you sure you want the English Breakfast?
But honey that comes with baked beans and white tea.

Absolutely priceless was look of disgust on her face when she first tried baked beans and then her white tea with sugar. But my joy ended when she snaffled my bread rolls, New Zealand butter and blackberry jam in return for her baked beans. She had never tried real butter or jam prior so it was awesome to see her smile when the waitress returned with her second helping. Spaghetti? Well, one night not so long ago when we were kicking back at the Red Star Café enjoying a lovely evening with Emmanuel, Amy and Kristina she decided to order what would have to be the most bland dish on any menu in all of the world, Spaghetti with tomatoes and tomato sauce. I tried to tell her but for some reason the Chinese translation on the menu must have read that it was full of chili and after her first few mouthfuls and not even a slight reaction, the fork was quietly placed upon the mountain of left spaghetti and she quietly fumbled around for a while.

I guess the real Polaroid moment was my reaction when I lost half of my spicy chicken burger….yep, she is a Sneaky Snacky!

Watching JiangNi try new foods is very much the same as when new foreign teachers arrive at a school I’m teaching at. During their first massive Welcome Dinner they are usually introduced to many new foods and it’s usually the 'inners & outers’ that find them squirming with a face that could out shine any Sylvester Stallone Polaroid moment. Better yet are the ‘should be’ You Tube moments when a foreigner tries BBQ’d pigs eyes and penis for the first time. You’d think that nothing could actually beat that that is until you tell them what they actually just ate.

A Beers N Noodles priceless moment!
Anyhow, doesn’t everyone love a good secret?
Especially when everyone else already knows about it.
But then again, this visit was the first time I had actually heard about it.
If I tell you more about it, shhhhh! You can’t tell anyone else ok, it’s a secret!

If you head down to the Li River and walk east along Bingjiang Lu you will find yourself beneath a canopy of green that keeps both the hot sun and any light sprinkle from bothering you and after a peaceful five to ten minute walk there is a small V intersection. If you continue on the larger road you will soon come across the Yangshuo Thai Chi & Kungfu School along a small handful of hostels/hotels and eateries mostly run by foreigners who have chosen to move away from the West Street area.

Obviously they are a tad older than most and are looking for a bit of peace.

If you turn right at the V and follow the Li River you will soon come across a tiny riverside bar run by a Chinese architect, his wife and extremely social son who adored JiangNi so much he wouldn’t allow her to leave. We had walked and ridden past it several times thinking it was someone’s home but one time the heaven’s opened and we dived in for cover. The place was simply decorated yet very comfortable and pleasant on the eye. The family was more than welcoming and sat talking to us as the rain continued to pour Woks & Chopsticks outside. Their son’s computer is found on a bench sitting over the top of a small bed/bath ‘thing’ and if I ever own a house it will be one of the first thing’s you’ll find me destroying whilst trying to construct.

If you continue past this little gem into the next village you are near Secret Beach.
Now because it’s such a secret I’m not sure if I should tell you how to find it.

But I’ll give you a small hint, if you grab a cold bottle of water at the little family hole in the wall store you will no doubt soon see swarms of motor scooters, hills of mountain bikers, totem poles of tandem bikers, flocks of local families and chickarees of children being very mysterious about the location of where they have been or are going with all of their floaties, water rings, towels, picnic bags of snacks and eskies of beer and meat sticks.

But I think the real give away maybe that most of them will be mysteriously wet.
So maybe they have been secretly swimming somewhere nearby?

Besides any day being the perfect day to visit Secret Beach, the real gem is actually a Sunday as if you ring the Stone Bridge Café/Hotel (or catch up with Simon at the Alley Bar) the day/night prior you can end the weekend with a perfect English Roast that has been slow cooked by English Simon and Andy and it is a real roast born of real ingredience and care. The Stone Bridge Café/Hotel is owned and run by an Australian guy and his Hong Konganese wife who got a little tired of running both the hotel and eatery so Simon being the roast mitted enturaurpnaur that he is called his buddy Andy and wallah so arrived a real English Roast in Yangshuo.

Beers N Noodles toya…..shane
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The soundtrack to this entry was by Mr Bungle
The album was ‘Mr Bungle’
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