At last Trams wedding rolled around, two weddings in fact, one in Tam Ky at her parents and one in Hoi An at his parents. Very sensible people the Vietnamese.I went to both and took Lan with me, but more of Lan later.
I had to pick upLan at Cua Dai on the way but its not on the way exactly, its quite a long way out of the way. So I get in the car and the driver heads off in exactly the opposite direction so we ended up nearly to An Hoi island in the extreme east of the town. I told him to pull over and showed him Cua Dai on the map so he turned tail and headed west. After 15 minutes or so I realised he was heading for the Cua Dai bridge so it was pullover again. I showed him Cua Dai beach on the map so he headed off through the back lanes and we finally got to Lans place. Her house is very poor, to wit, no fridge. Toilet and shower part of the kitchen. This contradicts what I have been told about her, but MORE 0F THAT LATER.
The wedding pavilion was set up in the front yard of the house and contained about 150 people, from her village, relatives and school and work friends of both of them. I have known Tram for about 4 years and I was quite emotional seeing her get married and more so knowing she was pregnant. She was just and innocent young girl when I met here and now motherhood approaches. It was the usual Viet wedding in that the tables were covered with the courses that came out one after the other. More food than anyone could eat so you have to pace yourself.
Same with the beer, no sooner is your glass half empty than someone fills it again. There is also the hazard of people coming to your table and filling everyones glass then counting Mot Hai Ba Yo and you are supposed to drink it down in one long guzzle. I don't do that except when trying to impress which is not often. All the guests bring an envelope containing money which they put in a box but Lan said go up to the stage and present it to them so I did and ended up standing with the bride and groom getting my picture taken.
Wediing one out of the way I saddled up again for wedding2 at An Bang near Hoi An. I went to Lans house and picked her up and we went on the bike, Hai Minh as a couple though our exact status is unclear. At one stage she is my honey, another my girlfriend and yet another my future wife....BUT MORE OF THAT LATER.
This wedding wasn't quite as enjoyable as there were too many people and the PA system was set way too loud. At the first wedding I was the only westerner and Lan being a stranger brought many stares from the villagers. The 2nd wedding I was sat next to Simon who runs the sportsbar 3 Dragons in Phan Boi Chau. His father in law is from Hanoi and they built a house opposite Trams parents in law right on the beach. I think I included pics of it in an earlier blog. So I chatted with Simon as best I could with the loud PA and the same day in the arvo I went into 3 Dragons to watch the footy and he completely ignored me. Du Ma mate...more of that later too.
So to Lan, plenty of pictures to look at of her. No great beauty but an interesting face. So we started auditioning each other as prospective husband and wife after meeting at the beach where she sells jewellry and then at White Lotus resto where she was working, briefly it turns out. She has 2 children and is divorced from her gambler husband, or is she? The house I visited where she was living is in hers and hubbies name but he goes away to work and she lives there while hes away, and when he comes back she lives with her parents next door. Or does she? And heres the small world angle. When Big Jim got hit by a motorbike outside White Lotus they called My Le who went to the hopital with Jim and also Na and Lan. While they were sitting waiting Lan told them she owned a souvenir shop at An Bang and the man with her was her husband. My take on it is that she was big noting herself as she seems to be selling bangles on commission and its a very plausible story. She seems too poor to own a souvenir shop unless My Le and Na just misheard her.
So every morning I started having coffee with Lan at a new place to me called Moc Lan a nice leafy spot by the river. She started telling me she wanted to buy out the jewellry from her Boss so she could be her own boss. Only 10 million and she could have freedom from the capitalist boss who incidentally keeps 70% of her sales. So being the soft touch I am I forked out 10 million. Oh happy day she says, she is in business on her own. But then she sees the Boss and he wants 15 million for the stock. She can borrow 2 mill off her cousin and she needs 3 million so old buggerlugs forks out another 3 mill. Oh happy day, she can get the stock. Which she did but she still owes Boss another 10 mill for it which is deferred.
Getting back to the wedding plans, I decided to ask some leading questions. Sex before marriage? No way. And in passing she told me I would be responsible for delivering and picking up the kids from school. She has 2 boys 15 and 9. Only dirty girls have sex before marriage she says. Well that was just about a deal breaker right there.
So at the 2nd wedding before we went there she tells me her bike is broken down and getting fixed at the shop and after the wedding could I drive her there. During the party her phone rings and its the mechanic saying its fixed. It was the ignition switch which had to be replaced. So I asked her how much it would cost and she says the music was too loud and she couldnt hear. Fair enough I thought, so after we left we went to the bike shop and she goes in to ask how much and comes back shocked....950,000 OMG she didnt have that sort of money!! Yes people I opened my wallet and paid.
All this paying was piling up on me and my dear sister who is never wrong told me I was being played. My Le told me, my son Marley told me and tonight I had a good talk with My Le's neice Na who was shocked. I was ready to get on a plane to Hanoi to get away from the whole schemozzle but Na said stay and sort it out. So after a lot of talk I took the cowards way out and sent her a text saying forget about marriage and I don't want to see you anytime soon.
She simply answered Yes.
Lan went to school until she was 12 and her first job after school was to take a herd of 20 cows to and from the fields where they ate. She taught herself Vietnamese from books so she could read and write it and taught herself English by working selling bangles on the beach which she has done for 20 years. Her English is probably the best I have heard here even better than some who studied it for 5 years at University. So what I'm saying is there is more to her than meets the eye, but do I want to try to cross the immense cultural divide?
And getting back also to Du Ma a very rude retort in any language which I had just learnt recently. I was at the servo filling the bike with fuel and the petrol bloke approached me and patted my stomach, "how many people in there?" he said, Du Ma mate I replied Get F*****D and I couldnt let it rest, I said do you understand? Du Maaaa. Actually pronounced Too Ma for those who want to use it.
Jay
2018-03-23
Hilarious escapades Les