We had decided to get up early as we wanted to get to Florence (Firenze) and so missed breakfast to head for the tramvia at a suburb of Florence Sanducci (Villa Constanza). It appears that Fred had prearranged to meet a friend as well. But more about that later.

Our little Peugeot 208 was getting hungry, so we needed to get some fuel along the way. Easily done, some 31 litres the car had a full belly, but our wallet was significantly lighter. Petrol in Italy is about 1.60 euro per litre. This means it is about $AUD2.55. Now I know why the smaller cars and motorcycles are so popular. The roads we have found to be good in the more built up areas, but the country roads are barely wide enough for 2 small cars to pass each other. Something to contend with but we’re coping well. The Italian drivers are always in a hurry though a so don’t take lightly being slowed down. Further the road is theirs and so will occupy whatever part of it they need to to achieve their objective. The driving antics have provided both Fred and I, some funny times.

Our trip to the outer suburbs of Firenze was a smooth process. Finding a parking spot was another matter at the tramway terminal. We were eventually lucky (after a few laps of the local area). A larger car had endeavoured to park in an impossible spot and eventually gave up. Being adventurous Aussies we tried and were able to squeeze in between two cars. I looked around to see if there was a parking ranger so as to collect my Italian driver award. I had managed to park and leave 3 centimetres between the front and back car. I just hope we will be able to get out. Hopefully one of them will have left by the time we get back.

The light rail into the centre of Firenze, was about a 30 minute trip. Interesting, as the suburbs we were travelling through, seemed just like any other city. Where is all this historical architecture, we thought. I checked the map, and yes we were in Florence. This amazing confirmation was somewhat enhanced when we started to get closer to the city centre. 

The major stazione is the Santa Maria Nouvelle. Obviously named or officially opened near Christmas time. But nonetheless we were on a cultural binge. We had a few places we wanted to visit and places to see: Fred had obviously made some arrangements with somebody she knows called David. I haven’t met him, but apparently he is an “old” friend. I think he must be a little out of sorts, as I recall Fred saying something about “marbles”. Has he lost his marbles I asked myself. The other aspect I have been able to deduce about David is that his family name must be “stone”. This I have been able to piece together from her incidental comments and remarks she has made about him. 

My issue was how were they going to meet up ? Does he have Fred’s number, or are they going to meet somewhere ? More importantly is he going to need lunch ? Fred was dismissive of all of these. I was worried as I have recently heard her talk about “he’s quite a big boy”. So perhaps if he is that big, or even tall, then he will be easily located.

“Florence is a big place”, I reminded Fred. She said “things are under control, we will fix up all the arrangements with regards David later”. I was happy with that, as meeting friends overseas would be a great experience, wouldn’t it ? 

We headed for the Giardino Mediceo Palace. A palace initially built for the Medici family back in 1447. What a magnificent area, lots of artwork on both the walls and hung as separate pieces. Sculptures of many naked men: I offered Fred my sun glasses even suggested that I was prepared to place my hands over her eyes to minimise eye contact. What would my in-laws say if this sighting was to leak out ? Should I delete from the distribution list of this blog ? What a “quandrissimo”: just as well Fred is over 18, I thought. After all, my responsibility was to protect her from all of this. I had heard that the Italians were a little bit of, well you know what I mean. After all, with all the pasta they consume, carbohydrate loading I used to call it when I was refereeing, their energy levels were a little high, and so anything could eventuate from these sort of structures been out there in the open. 

Nobody seemed embarrassed though. Perhaps I was over reacting ? As I did see many children around, I feel that it was my civic duty to protect these younger ones from such nudity. I asked Fred if she would assist me. You could imagine her reaction. “Tell me where to find David”, I insisted. He would surely assist. 

All too much to handle, so after a few photographs, of the artwork of course, I managed to get Fred to (reluctantly) leave this Museo Gallery. I wonder whether I should check her camera, because she did appear to be using it more than any other time on the trip. I felt that I wouldn’t because she did say earlier this morning that she was only taking her camera to “take a few pictures of David”. Perhaps she was just practicing for later ? After all some of these sculptures were quite tall. Just like David I thought. Yes, that’s what she was doing, just preparing for those few pictures of her and David. Yeah, she probably would put these up on her Facebook page, send David a copy etc. What a lady, so loyal to her friends !!

From here we were able to find the Santa Maria Sancta, Duomo. A truly magnificent building. Similar to the one in Milan, but much larger and ornate. The line up to enter this Basilica was very large. We decided to sit on a nearby step and have lunch. We selected a protected area, as it looked like rain. This it did. People scattered everywhere, the scammers quickly traded their fake artwork for umbrellas and ponchos for those who had not come prepared. They did a roaring trade. I just hope that David came prepared. Surely he would, he was a local. 

Still that was his problem, I guess. When I asked Fred about what David would be wearing, she indicated that he would be wearing his “birthday suit”. Wow, not a bad deal, having a birthday while overseas. My concern however, if his suit was Italian wool, then these suits don’t take to getting wet, too well.

We had our lunch, this time deciding to have a white wine with our breads, meats etc. We decided to head off from the Duomo and perhaps come back to it later, hoping the line up would be less. The more we walked around Florence, the more we started to realise that queues were commonplace. Fred even remarked that “I just hope the line up to see David is not that long”. This somewhat stunned me. David, was he a celebrity or something, an NRL player perhaps ? “Let’s just worry about that later, I thought. 

Our walking got us to the Palazza Vecchio, only to be confronted by rain. Fred suggested we go back to the gallery. I resisted this, “what do you think that I came down in the last shower ?”, I remarked. Probably not the smartest comment, as this was the first time it had rained on this trip.

The Palazza was a large area, with many impressive statues and marble carvings. It then struck me, David, marble, birthday suit. It was all adding up. “I’m not fool”, I said to myself. I know what she’s up to.

However, nearby was one of our major targets, the Uffizi Gallery. Wow, long line ups: people everywhere. Still doubting my somewhat delayed thoughts, I felt we should go into the nearby gallery and undertake a bit of culture. After a few questions of some of the marshalls (“excusi, would we find David in here, is this is house ?”), outside of the Uffizi and a bit of luck, we were able to get our way into the booking office and to pay a premium price to hop on a shorter “booked line”. Perhaps one of the marshalls felt sorry for us, as David apparently doesn’t live here. I was starting to think that Fred was only hoping to meet up with David ?

We were fortunate to get into to Uffizi in about 30 minutes. A bit of a coup really, as others were in lines for a couple of hours. 

The gallery security was thorough but we were able to get through and start viewing all of the artworks. Da Vinci, Botticelli, Rubens etc all there. Magnificent really, a real art lovers’ heaven. Fred and I were separated from the beginning but had a contingency plan to meet up. This we did after a couple of hours inspecting all of the artworks and sculptures. Along the way, I did happen to hear a couple of people in one of the galleries, talking about how impressive David is. I then enquired where I would find David. Would I find him here ? “No” said one of them. He is not in this gallery.

Fred and I then planned to finally go and meet David. Finally, I thought.

Fred knew all along where to find David. After determining this from our trusty map, we decided to walk a few blocks in the rain. Our own ponchos, partially protecting us. When we got to his villa, well, I assumed it was,  the sign (must be rich, eh ?) said, the Museo De Academia. 

Wow, a popular fella, he has a lot of friends. All from Australia or local ?What did impress me was that David had some guards outside, so I suggested to Fred that she go and get them to tell David that you she was outside. Alas, no go. She indicated that he would see us eventually. We would just stand in line, in the rain and wait our turn.

I thought, just as well it was not my birthday and that I was wearing a suit. After all, I would get into trouble if my birthday suit got wet !! I was going to ask David when I meet him, about his suits and when he wears them. Or does he make out that he has lots of birthdays so he gets lots of presents: some of which could be suits.

We finally made to the front of the line and got inside. David was particularly fussy as he made us go through security screening. It was at this instant, that an issue arose. Going through the screening, I left my pouch on. I carried this around my neck. The security guard grabbed it in an aggressive way, to which I rejected. To cut a long story short, there was a verbal confrontation which the guard made out that I “disrespected” him. Nothing about what he did. 

At one stage, it appeared that I was to be escorted out of David’s house. Fred came over and asked what was going on. After the fuss quelled, we were allowed to continue to enter. I think a senior guard intervened. Perhaps they backed off, when I mentioned we were here to see David ?

For a few moments it appeared rather dire and that Fred was not going to meet up with David. Some blunt and rather audible words and expressions were exchanged in both Italian and English. I guess we were both lucky that neither of us understood each other. My Italian counterpart would have sought his legal team had he understood my contribution. 

Upon entry to the inside rooms, I mentioned to Fred that David collects a lot of art and sculptures. No wonder he lived in such a posh place. I stood and looked at some of the art, only to look around to see disappearing into another room. I followed.

Fred was standing there gazing down the large gallery space, somewhat mesmerised. Camera poised toward this large 4 metre high sculptured body positioned on a 2 metre high plinth. They didn’t even give him a piece of carpet etc, to stand on.

Somewhat breathless, Fred pointed and said, meet David. I now realised that David was a male model who posed nude. No need for any suits for this chap. Perhaps there was need to make sure it did not too cold however.

David stood there: just like those buskers we have all seen. But I must agree with Fred, he was big. Obviously eats lots of vegetables to keep up his stamina. He must be popular with the ladies, as many were standing at the bottom of the plinth either staring at his chest ....well that’s all I can think they were looking at. I agreed with Fred that he was big: I would described him as tall however.

The battery in the camera went flat. Perhaps it overheated ? Too many shots to send by email I told her, you will have to select those you wish to send and the ones you wish to keep. Obviously she had not thought of this: she just smiled in appreciation of my comment.

Unfortunately we were ushered out of David’s house. I think he must have wanted to go out for dinner. I felt a little sorry for Fred as she didn’t get to spoke with him. Coming all this way and not getting the opportunity to at least say g’day mate, I think was a little insensitive of David. 

All he did was just stand there with a stony, staring looking up to the ceiling.

From David’s place we walked back to the stazione to catch the light rail back to Villa Constanza and our car. To my relief, our car was still parked with the same two cars. Fred help guide us out of the tight spot and then we headed for home. 

Late at night by now, so we decided that we would stop off at the Pizzeria l’Tigli and get a couple of their pizzas to eat in our room. To be washed down with yet another Chianti.

A great day: Florence is quite a spectacular place with lots to offer visitors. Perhaps David owes Fred an apology. She doesn’t think so. She was just happy to “see” him. Her words not mine. What I did find out at the end, was that David has a manager, called Michelanglo. The relevance of this ? Well, I hope that the manager doesn’t chisel David out of all of his entitlements. Standing around all day staring into nowhere could be hard work and a risky boss may take too much commission.

In lieu of  a competition this time, I am seeking your advice on the following. A small amount of personal - life coaching. We all need this on occasions throughout the pathway of life:

I would appreciate your well founded opinion(s) on these. Don’t embellish just give me the bare facts. I am aware that some of your comments may be blunt and to the point, but that’s life sometimes. Don’t feel obliged to contribute to all or any. Just a brief note is all I ask.

Ciao Ciao

PS. You will have noticed a photo above of David. So as to avoid any confusion and or misconception that there may be some perceived resemblance with myself, but I can assure you, that’s it not me. Any semblance of similarity is purely in the eye of the viewer. Besides, I have a slight tan: David has obviously been in the United Kingdom for a prolonged period.