Ljubljana - pronounced loob - lee - yana

After almost 14 hours of train travel we knew that the cab drivers of Ljubljana would be lying in wait . It was 10 p.m. and we were tired. I showed the friendly English-understanding cab driver our hotel on the map. "No problem." He said. "I know this hotel very well."
All the way to the hotel, I kept one eye on the meter and the other on the street signs to make sure he wasn't taking us on a joy ride. When we stopped, the fare was 950 SIT (Slovenian currency). The price seemed okay, so I asked Ellen to pay while I went to the trunk to get my backpack. When I came back the meter read 1820 SIT.
"What is going on sir? When you stopped the car, the meter read 950 SIT", I said.
The driver smiled at me like a newborn, his English comprehension skills gone, as he pointed to the 1820 on the meter.
"I'm not paying 1820." I said.
Ellen took over and tried conversing with the driver using Slovak, which is somewhat close to Slovenian. Ellen found out that because I had put my backpack in the trunk and then taken it out - all by myself, the fare had been almost doubled. She managed to get the fare, down to 1200 SIT.
"Balls, I'm not paying a SIT more than 950 ." I said.
I threw the 950 his way and with a wave of the hand said "No more sir. That's it"
He made reference in Slavic to someone's mother and the female genitalia, and then angrily sped off.

And speaking of genitalia: We had a two hour layover in Vienna on our way to Ljubljana. Not far from the train station is one of the Hapsburgs' many residences. I took a stroll through the grounds. On my way out I noticed two lion statues above the main gates, each holding a crest with a crown on top. The lions were standing on their hind quarters, almost human-like, holding the crowns upwards. Then I noticed that they each had hard-on's. What the hell is that all about, I wondered? Did the Hapsburg men have these horny lions set above the main gate as a symbol of power; an icon to help them perform their nightly duties after a hard day of ruling the empire? Or perhaps it was the Hapsburg women who were responsible for the rock solid phallus? Questions but no answers - I tried to mix in with a tour group who were studying the gate, but they spoke only Japanese.