You gotta be careful what you ask for...

Friday, April 19, 2013
Pingyao, Shanxi, China
Nihao from Pingyao - the most 'Chinese' looking city in China (I hope we're wrong about that).
Pingyao was apparently a favourite holiday destination of the royal family and as such, was spared the cultural revolution's signature reinvention with concrete and white tiles . It's as close to the China a westerner may imagine - Narrow alleys of brick houses, each with arched doorways and heavy wooden doors that open to courtyards decorated with carved bricks, glazed pots sprouting bonsai and red lanterns adorn the streets and shop entrances.
Darren and I decided to splurge a bit on accommodation here after seeing photos on a booking site back home. I'm so glad we did. (See pictures for why). It's been great to just chill out here in a really nice room, popping out from time to time to visit a historic building or feast on many local dishes.
I keep forgetting to take pictures of my meals, so I'm sorry that I can only describe them. The Pingyao beef is a corned beef served cold which I quite enjoyed and the buckwheat noodles with dipping sauce were special too. There was an overly salted meat hot pot and a beef dish in a vinegar sauce which was interesting also. The moon cakes, a corn bread with sweet filling make a nice snack. And its interesting to note that grains here are more varied to include buckwheat and corn and seaweed makes a regular appearance. But the most memorable foodie experience here has been reading the menu.
I have to wonder if some of the translations have been purposely done because they're so ridiculous - a ploy to get you to stop in front of the restaurant where an eager waiter can usher you inside. Cynical, aren't I? My favourites include Pulling Rotten Son (same dish down the road called Pulling Out Rotten), The Meat Fries The Cat Ear and Clear Cooked Bull's Penis . I realise the last two might actually be cats ears and bulls penis and I'm definitely not gonna try confirming that any other way than observing whether cats around here have ears but surely someone over the years has alerted locals to the errors in translations?? It's a pretty touristy place after all. You know the signs; the meals are over priced, the streets lined with the same souvenirs - it goes lacquered boxes, embroidered shoes, djembe (the authentic made-in-China djembe), restaurant/convenience store, hand-woven scarves, 'antiques', plastic toys and repeat. For some reason, rubber chickens are a popular item in these stores too. You might find one lying next to a copy of the little red book in an antique shop or on the shelf below the shampoo.
So this place is full of the unexpected.
Much like the weather: 2 days ago I was concerned about being indecent by stripping off to a singlet when it hit 30 degrees (women are pretty modest around here). Today it is snowing and a balmy 5 degrees. At least our bags will be easy to pack this evening because we'll be wearing all of our clothes .
But the icing on the unexpected cake must be the massage I had last night.
I was really looking forward to a treating myself a little here - we'd planned to chill out and take a rest from being on the move quite a bit the last 10 days. But just like Darren and his Tendon Soup, I should have inquired more carefully as to what's was going to get rather than expect what I had assumed. 'One Hour Full Body Massage' does not mean 'One Hour of Relaxation' as I was expecting.
I think my masseuse was a baker in a past life. Maybe even this life. After beginning with my ears (not as unusual a place to start, I thought, as the methods she employed which included sticking her fingers in my ears and then folding my ears forward against the sides of my head) she then proceeded to knead me like I was a lump of dough. Then came the Chinese burns we used to terrorise each other with in the school playground. Then she hit me hard with her fists! Up and down one arm, up and down the next. When she accidentally stepped on a squeaky-toy left by Aadi on the bed, I was so relieved to have an excuse to let out the laugh pent up inside. So it went on, until she got to my back where she did a brief massage and then suggested a different technique. I thought I understood she wanted to rub my back with some force to make the skin red. I'd had this done before and while it was a little uncomfortable, it was quite effective treating knotted muscles. So I agreed. But unlike my previous experiences where muscles were targeted for rubbing and bones avoided, this woman dragged her implement (it looked like a comb without the teeth) up and down my spine, up and down over my ribs and then over my shoulder joints . It was like she was trying to skin me with a spoon. When she was done, she pulled out her mobile phone and took a picture of my back to show me it was red, as though I needed proof. I asked if she was done but she motioned for me to lie back down. But she didn't resume immediately so I turned back around to see what was keeping her and she still had her phone in her hand which she hurriedly put away and said "Ok, Ok". Was she deleting the photo of my back or taking another one of my butt?? I tried not to think the worst. (But if you come across a picture of a butt with a nice big spider bite on the right cheek, send me a personal message, please.) She finished the massage with a hearty series of slaps and karate chops and when offered my feet be done I politely declined. I think that was a wise move considering I couldn't sleep on my back last night and carrying Aadi today was a bit uncomfortable. For all you out there who've had this vigorous treatment before (as have I), you'll know that some bruising is normal... but not over the bones. So take that in mind when you see the pics.
So we're holding ourselves inside for most of the day. We ventured outside for a quick tour of a couple of historic buildings and a yummy dumpling and soup lunch but that's about it for the day. It's too cold to do anything else. We leave tonight for a 13hr overnight train to Beijing. We couldn't get a Soft Sleeper for the journey - we have instead a Hard Sleeper (which is more crowded and less private than the former so I hope it's not eventful enough to warrant a separate blog. I'm sure any bad experience will be easily forgotten when we finally reunite with "Uncle Dan". We're all very much looking forward to that!

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2025-02-11

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