Splendour in the Grass, Beach & 5 star Resort

Friday, August 07, 2009
Byron Bay, New South Wales, Australia
It's a four day introduction to budget airlines, deluxe eco-lodge accommodation, spa treatments and The Writers' Festival in Byron Bay...

Tell us why you deserve a luxury spa experience ...
Working, mending, cleaning, driving,
Gardening, cooking, parenting, surviving.
Seven days a week mothering: exhaustion conceded…
Time out required. Byron spa pampering needed!!!


No Terms and Conditions ever state that competition entries have to be 100% true. Motherhood hasn't been THAT physically draining of late, but the recollections from 10-15 years ago prompt this response that win me a luxury break in Byron Bay.

Liz undoubtedly fits the above description far better and joins me for four days of luxury eco-accommodation at The Byron on Byron, fine dining, facial, spa pampering, the Byron Bay Writers Festival and more fine dining.

Friday, August 7, 2009

How I love 7.30am starts, but in this case it's the destination, NOT the journey that matters...

Four days of clothes and requirements are packed into one carry-on bag - this is unprecedented and I owe it entirely to a Tiffany Treloar wardrobe . This goes with that, squished down to nothing and all non-iron. Bliss! (Admittedly the jeans, jumper, coat and heaviest shoes were being worn on a cold Melbourne morning.)

Unfortunately, it weighs over 10kg so gets check-in material anyhow. Still, impressed that I have been so restrained with my luggage!

Tiger Airways... It's the convenient timing of their schedule to the Gold Coast (and good price) that gets them the job of flying us north. Ordinary terminal, squwarking kids, cramped seats... bearable for 2 hours. The descent leaves us both with ear aches - something I have never had a problem with in the past. Takes hours to unblock...

Coolangatta is a balmy 23°C on arrival and the Byron Bay minibus arrives as booked. The Gold Coast looks as though little has changed in 15 years. Very ordinary.

Offset easily by that 23°C and arrival at The Byron at Byron...
 

The Byron at Byron looks swish from the moment you turn into the car park. Modern low-slung buildings with open styling and modern 'tropical' detailing such as plantation shutters and louvre windows. There's a seamless check-in and buggy ride to our Deluxe Spa Apartment Suite.
Comfy microseude couches, huge TV, stylish kitchenette behind timber doors, designer spa bath and sleek stainless steel and white shower . Two balconies in the treetops and plantation shutters everywhere. Liz excitedly photographs it for work purposes. Boardwalks thoughout the 17ha, stunning pool and public eating/drinking areas and beach just over the hill.

Apparently.

Still lying, sinking too far into the feather pillows to contemplate walking any further than the restaurant.

Such is the comfort, we might not come home...

Especially after our included 1 hour facial (worth $175!) this afternoon... moisturising, exfoliating, elastin and collagen infusing - there seems to be a layer of everything. Plus a hand and foot massage while the steam did it's thing. Japanese tea, ladies? Roll on Sunday's hot rock massage with hot spa and steam room.

With all this splendour (and prices to guarantee that the riff-raff won't be interrupting) it's no surprise to see some of the speakers from tomorrow's Writers' Festival at dinner. We pass Geoffery Robinson on the way in and the table next to us includes Gretel Killeen, Wendy Harmer and Denise Scott.

Dinner is best decided by resolving to work down the menu over the next 4 nights. Stunning food (schnapper, beef fillet) and a shared chocolate torte for dessert. Jenny Craig is dead this weekend .

Time to roll into bed...

Saturday, August 8, 2009

10.00am… Aaaaahhh! That makes up for the vicious 6am start yesterday.

As does the buffet breakfast.

Not boring old Cornflakes and plastic juice here. Blood oranges. Homemade grainy bread. Creamy scrambled eggs. Bircher muesli. David Williamson and wife alongside. It’s another case of work through the selections over the next 3 mornings…

An 11.00 arrival at Belongil Fields (the recent venue for Splendour in the Grass music festival) sees us settle into a marquee listening to five emerging writers talk about their inspirations and craft. It's surprisingly much more captivating than I had expected. While Liz had her favourites, mine is Dominic Knight – a writer for The Chaser – who’s first novel is entitled “Disco Boy”.

Session Two should have been the Kerrie O’Brien-moderated session with two undercover police talking about their lives before Underbelly . Judging by the crowds – standing room only – they are the speakers to hear or the Underbelly fascination continues. Liz and I instead split, opting for seated comfort – she to hear Di Morrissey and I listen to Brian Cadd, James Griffin (ABC) and Don Walker (of Cold Chisel fame) talk about writing stories condensed into 4 minutes of song… and their favourites by others. What a bonus – they sing some of their music too. That session is chaired by Sian Prior (ABC, Paul Kelly musician.)

Session Three turns out to be two women talking about their writing of far raunchier versions of Mills and Boon fiction – “comic erotica”! Nothing like we are expecting! The authors cover some very risque topics which have the large audience rolling. One opening passage as a reading is enclosed in the photos for your education and then enough said!…

There are also some large sculptural art works and paintings for sale around the site – always keeps me happy to poke around such things . All-in-all a very pleasant day out for a non-reader like myself. Liz is even more thrilled and comes home with a couple of purchased books.

A short walk around the BB township afterwards completes the day before heading back for the next offering on the menu for dinner. BB has grown enormously since we used to come here from Brisbane. The alternative scene remains but it’s a little sad to see the Supres and Just Jeans of the world shifting in… BB has lost much of it’s uniqueness when parts of Southland or Chadstone are here. The beach is still undeniably beautiful.

Dinner? THE most tender lamb I have EVER sunk my teeth into. Magnificent! Maple creme caramel for dessert plus coffee. Pork then chocolate tart for Liz, then retreat to those feather pillows, some reading and sleep….

Tomorrow, we WILL walk. A lot.

Sunday, August 9, 2009

Parents who bring children to these resorts and let them squeal outside you room at 7.30am should be shot!

Luckily for them, we fall asleep again until somewhere closer to 10. A warmer, sunny day today. Another glorious breakfast then straight onto the boardwalk down to Tallow Beach. We head for about 3km north towards the lighthouse, sit and watch minimal life go by then meander back . We find the ultimate beach address with beachfront houses along a quiet Byron-Suffolk Park back road. We find tanned locals walking dogs. We find guys that seem far to old to be surfers.

We decide we could do 4 months Byron/8 months Melbourne per year.

Oops! Just enough time for an afternoon snack before the complimentary ($150) ‘Lithos” hot stone massage… essentially a massage with hot and cold stones sitting on your back. A heavenly massage, but we rate the facial as more blissful. The stones seem to be a bit of a novelty. A hot spa, a warm shower and then another magnificent dinner.

And it repeats tomorrow – albeit without a massage.

Monday, August 10, 2009

Mmmmmm... bircher muesli. That's meant to be healthy.

16,400 steps on the pedometer is too.

Especially when half of it is up gruelling steps to the lighthouse or along wet sand .

There was possibly one whale breeching out at sea - something brown and moving - and the breeze was good after all those steps. We felt very virtuous on reaching Australia's most easterly point. And stuffed. And looking for the easiest track downhill. We landed at the far end of Byron's main beach - Clarke's Beach - which has a delightful cafe set on the cliff overlooking the coast. Here was the setting for a magnificent coconut and macadamia nut icecream and much fantasizing about spending 4 months of a Melbourne winter right here.

An amble along the beach and around the town completed our efforts today in time to catch the 3pm shuttle bus back to the resort.

Mmmmmm... soft bed and an afternoon snooze. Or a read by the pool for Liz.

We remarked that it feels as though we have been here for ages, not just 3 nights, such is the peaceful relaxation afforded by this place .

And that we would never be blessed with such luxury again!
This is a resort for honeymooners, tourist couples with favourable exchange rates and celebrities/executives with others picking up the bill. Not us, sadly.

Mmmmmm... dinner time. After 3 nights, we downsize to an entree for a mains (1 duck confit, 1 oriental mushroom package) with a side serve of vegetables. All perfect, of course. And the penalty for failing to spend our entire meal voucher? A complimentary bottle of champagne!

Lucky we're going home tomorrow really, or the whales would be of the beached variety on nearby couches.



Tuesday, August 11, 2009


Byron Bay... blissful accommodation, heavenly dining, glorious weather, no 3A water restrictions, unharried drivers, beaches and rain forests, endless ex-Melbournians now living here singing it's praises and condemming Melbourne, The Age a day late, tourists everywhere, dodgy phone reception.

Melbourne... cold, wet winters, impatient drivers, The Age, the markets, Oasis Bakery, indeed multiculturalism in general, friends, neighbours and family, my own home, my dog. Not relocating north...

(And Virgin Blue beats Tiger.)

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