The Kindergarten Skipper

Thursday, December 21, 2023
Caribbean Sea
First sea day today, so a double dose of Bingo.  It’s always a huge drawing card for the first session, until people understand that Cruise Ship bingo resembles real bingo about as much as Scooby-do resembles a real dog.  It LOOKS the same, but like Scooby it’s a bit artificial and contrived.
                                      
There are only 4 games per session and the bingo cards are differentiated by colour.  The first game is blue…always blue.  The second game is orange…always orange.  The third game is green, always and the final game is always red.  
Now most of us learned our colours in kindergarten.  Well, all of us except the woman we’ll call Lazy Eye Susan.  Was she too lazy to pay attention to the repetitive instruction telling us what colour our cards were for game #2, or did she miss Kindergarten entirely so never learned her colours?  I’m not sure, but when game #2 was culminated with me yelling Bingo (along with 3 others, but that’s another story), everything came to a complete halt when it was learned that Susan had played her entire ‘orange game’ on her red game card.  Perhaps it’s not HER that’s lazy, but maybe it’s a lazy eye or maybe cataracts, that prevents her from differentiating orange from red.  Regardless of the cause, it threw the entire crew into a tailspin that took 15 minutes to sort out.
                                            
And if that wasn’t bad enough, Stupid Sara slowed down the final game for no reason other than, well, based on her name, stupidity.  They only announced a handful of times that the final game is a ‘cover all, black out, or full card’, which even to the uninitiated should mean that you don’t call Bingo until you’ve got…wait for it…a FULL CARD.  And to win the jackpot, it has to be achieved in 50 numbers or less…so just like the ‘blue footed booby’ it’s gonna be rare.   When Sara calls Bingo after about 40 numbers I start to look around for that elusive bird.  No booby, no Bingo.  Apparently Sara missed the part of the explanation, all 5 times, that said you had to cover ALL the numbers on your card.  Yes, my eyes are currently rolling…just as they did when Stupid Sara called Bingo.
                                         
Tomorrow’s our first day in port.  Jamaica here we come.  I predict a short day in port for us.  

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