Day 1

Sunday, December 06, 2020
Puerto Vallarta, Jalisco, Mexico
This is a quick trip. All my SLC pals were out of town this weekend and since I spent last weekend alone in SLC, I decided to go to Puerto Vallarta. Could I have gone anywhere? Yes. Did I have to go international? No. I dunno what it was exactly; maybe the weird taste from Tahiti gnawed at my culture-hungry self to get a good trip, maybe the cold was hitting me more than I thought, maybe (and this is probably very likely) I was super proud of myself for finding a warm international weekend trip (connecting flights and all!) - whatever the reason, I booked it. Here I am.
The trip started with a weird vibe due to some external factors that carried on from me booking last night to me sitting on the plane in Denver bound for Puerto Vallarta. Because of this, I neither had the down-time nor the appetite to eat, leaving me pretty ravenous for that bounty of a snack bag halfway through my last flight. Luckily I spaced out the pretzels from the stroopwaffel just right so I didn't get a headache. Phew. K also maybe that advil from the previous flight helped.
I can't lie, I've watched everything that's remotely interesting to me on United's entertainment app, so I decided to try and relax and catch up on sleep I missed out on last night. I had the whole exit row to myself (tall people of the world, stop reading now), so I could lay down and snuggle up with my winter jacket pillow. Similar to the night before, I had trouble sleeping and instead of staring at the ceiling, I thought I'd read a bit of my book. The one thing America did right is libraries. They could be better, but with the huge anti-socialism vibe in this country, I'm really thankful we have libraries. We need books. 
ANYWAYS we finally start to get close to Puerto Vallarta and I sit up to prepare for landing and realize I've been missing out on some crazy cool landscape! The mountains and rivers are so lush and pure and opposite from Utah. I was glued to my window. Much of the development grew around nature instead of the other way around. Always a treat for an American to see. 
We finally land and go through two sets of customs with temperature checks. No covid test required for Mexico. Luckily I had done my research and knew what to do at the airport. Once past immigration, you're thrown into what the internet calls the "shark tank". From what I've gathered, this is a big time share scheme. You've got vendors(?) all along the walls shouting about their timeshare. I guess a big trick is to say "hey yes you need a ride to your hotel? I'll take you but I won't tell you that we're going to this timeshare first." It's definitely weird but very regulated/patrolled; street vendors are much more aggressive. I was just confused as to why most desks actually had customers. Maybe it's a timeshare mindset thing that I'm not privy to.
I make it through the shark tank and into the lobby of the airport. I turn on my cell service (woot for an exact 24-hour trip) and order up an uber. I was proud of myself for knowing where to go for the cheaper cabs, but my Airbnb host recommended Uber so I followed his advice. Not too bad - $5 for nearly a 30min ride. My driver, Maribola, was so nice. She called me before to go through how the pickup needed to be (she could get a ticket if she waits too long at the stop) and she was very patient with my Spanish. I was definitely happier with myself here than in Tahiti - the last Spanish class I had was a mandatory elective in 8th grade. I glean the rest from my surroundings (question mark USA) and music and EWB and Mass I guess. I should have for sure brushed up a bit, but some things are cemented in the brain - like the word for rain. Whenever I hear 'lluvia" I get a little punch to the stomach. Rain means a complicated day on the construction site. Works out here too - not as nice for the beach.
I get to the Airbnb and realize I should've given Abraham a heads up on my arrival. Oops. It was a super nice day so I let him know that I arrived and I took a little walk to the malecon. When I say "little" walk, I mean a little turtle could even make this walk, it was a minute away from the malecon and adjacent beach. WOWOWOW so incredible. I finally meet up at the Airbnb and set my things down. There were a few overlapped bookings so I got the biggest room for an average room price. This happened on my last trip as well. I'm pretty ok with this trend. The room is SO lovely and it was hard to not lay down on the beautiful bed or take a shower in the stunning bathroom. I will press on!
Since it was kinda a cloudy day, I decided this would be a good opportunity to go to the observation tower. Otherwise it'd be a pretty rough and hot hike. Hike? Uphill walk through the outskirts of town? Utah has be confused. After taking a few wrong turns (and ending up on top of what I believe is the world's longest and highest gutter), I finally make it to the top, passing the closed trolley on the way. The views were incredible, and there were to many spots and levels from which to take them in. On one side there were lush mountains showcasing the transition from cityscape to mother nature. On another side there was the city of Puerto Vallarta with tall hotels lining the coastline. On the last grouping of views there was the old town of Puerto Vallarta and the ocean. Pretty neat. I spent probably close to an hour here, then it got to be a bit too quiet (there were people all around; not crowded but not lonely). I realized the restaurant Abraham had recommended would close at 7pm, and after a frustrating experience in Tahiti with this, I didn't want to miss it. I took in my last views of the city - it was truly beautiful. Oh and yes the sun was setting. That was a big recommendation from people. Unfortunately the restaurant had no view, but I was able to get out in time for the last bit of sunset.
The food was awesome. It was a fish place that apparently had incredible ingredients and cooking skills. As I sat down, the staff brought out some flan with a candle for my table-neighbor's birthday. 53 I think. He and his buddy were both pretty entertained by all this and spoke uniquely in English. I sang happy birthday and all and clapped when he blew out the candle. As they get up to leave, they stop by my table and ask about where I'm from (they heard me speaking English to the waitress). They're from Vegas. I give them the lie that I'm meeting up with friends after dinner, of course I'm not travelling alone (travelling alone tip #1). We continue talking for a bit about how great the restaurant is, and the guy hands me a $10 American bill and says "I'm paying for your dinner tonight." Hmm super didn't ask, but thanks? My dinner came out to be $7.50. I paid in my own pesos and then left the guy's $10 bill as a tip. Why would he give that money to a vacationing American over the people who work at the restaurant at which he's eating during this pandemic which is killing that very industry??
Dinner was awesome. I ordered ceviche tostadas but they said they were out and I believe they offered fish or a salad. I'm no dummy, I went with the fish. The two of several options that I understood were garlic and spicy. Spicy please. 15 minutes later out comes this plate of four filets of fish, rice, coleslaw (a bit different from what I'm used to, but still super yummy), limes, chili sauce, and toast. Well geez guys have you looked at the size of my stomach??
Turns out they were right. I think I was subconsciously so hungry that I ate nearly all the fish and most of the rice and slaw. Sorry toast. It was so so good, I think I definitely ate too fast. I have no idea what kind of fish it was but the sauce was almost like BBQ sauce, and the spicy sauce was the perfect amount of spice. Add a bounty of limes and Mary's pretty happy. 
I scurried on out of there so I could get a bit of sunset time at the beach. I was going to stop in my room first, but I caught sight of the sunset and just walked right past it. It was stunning! The malecon has such a great vibe, and there's a beach right there. I walked along the beach and sat down. Much to my luck, the Voladores (flying men from a tall pole by their feet) were just beginning their ceremony. These are the same type of Voladores that I've seen in Joyabaj. In Joyabaj they go twice per year on a tree ceremonially cut down from the forest and brought into town. They pray beforehand with no set schedule. The Voladores here perform (this is maybe a more accurate word) year-round, multiple times per day and ask for tips after each "performance". Performance vs. ceremony is tough here - it's a rich cultural tradition but it has more of a performance tone instead of reverence here. Not sure which is correct, you'll have to consult your favorite Voladores expert.
Either way, it was SUPER cool to see the Voladores sitting on a beach at sunset. Pretty cool. As the sunset went away, I headed for a short walk along the malecon then went back to my Airbnb. After taking a bit to figure out how to get inside, I finally got in and put down my stuff aka water bottles. I tried to look up dancing along the malecon, but it seems everything has been adjusted for covid. Ugh. I get it tough, it's good. If I was gonna get covid anywhere though it'd for sure be dancing in a Mexican nightclub. I was so ready. 
Feeling a bit let down but not surprised, I started planning for my next day. When is Mass? Oh at 6:30am, 8:00am (children's Mass), or 10 (bilingual Mass). Looks like 6:30am is my best bet (the others annoy me; bilingual is cool but full Spanish is cooler). I realize there's still one more Mass offered tonight (Saturday) and so I get a bit ready and head on out the door. I had promised myself I wouldn't go out at night but it feels so safe here. SO safe. It's for sure incredibly touristy, but there's a good amount of domestic tourists and even some locals! I walk to church only to find out that the schedule I was following was 30min off. They were already to the creed when I walked in. And it was the last Mass of the night. Oh well, I guess I'll go in. All the pews were reemployed as barricades to protect the 1.5m separated folding chairs. It was a bit of a maze to be honest, but I finally got to a seat. The Mass was nice but I feel like I need to go again. Would love to see it in the daytime too.
On the walk back I scoured one last time for nightclubs. I needed to dance so badly. Or even just a bar with an actual bar that a solo human like me could sit at and not be lonely. Neither existed. Fine then. I went home and blasted my favorite spanish music and also took a freezing cold shower (no where is perfect, no?). 

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