And then we waited for the plague of frogs.

Thursday, March 05, 2015

Miami Beach, Florida, United States

And then the plague of frogs arrived.

Travelling with us is always, now how can I put it…… interesting to say the least. Our kids call it 'Travelling with my Dad. "An experience definitely to be missed."

This time it all started quite innocently as we started our journey from St Maarten to Miami. Our full itinerary was for us to say there for three days while we shopped; (and when I say we, I really meant Dyana.) Then, after she had her fix of this, and Miami is a truly fabulous place to get it, we were travelling off to Nashville to do the Country and Western music scene for a few days before Dyana was to take the child (that's me), off to Orlando to visit, (would you believe it,) Mickey Mouse in Disneyland. So that’s the plan…. And as they say, the way to hell, is paved with good intentions. Also, if you have a plan, IT CAN GO WRONG!

So there we were; sitting quietly in the departure lounge of Princess Juliana Airport in St Maarten waiting for our departure time. For once, we weren’t flying LIAT (Leaves the Island Any Time), but on another airline called Spirit, and instead of flying into Miami, (a terrible airport), decided to go to Fort Lauderdale instead. The departure time came….. ho hum…. and went! No call for the passengers. Also nothing on the board to advise us of why. So, having to be patient as one has to be in the Caribbean, just sat patiently and waited till finally, an hour after the due time, our flight was called. Perhaps I should have known right there and then that things were going to go wrong, but the alarm bells were not yet ringing loudly enough in my head. So we arrived in Fort Lauderdale well over an hour and a half late because we sat on the tarmac for another thirty minutes waiting for a take-off slot. And by this time it was dark. Miracle of miracles, our luggage arrived safely…. So we headed out to Dollar, the car rental people. “Take anyone of those two left,” the car guy said so decided to take the slightly larger Toyota. Loaded it up and started driving out. Now those of you who have not rented in the USA, I must tell you that as a final check as you drive out, the person at the gate gives the car a once over to make sure everything is OK.

“You can’t take this one!”

“Oh? Why not? What’s wrong with it?”

“The License plate. It’s out of date. You’ll have to take the other one.”

So after transferring all our stuff, finally headed out on to the motorway; naturally with the help of Satellite Navigation unit colloquially known as a Satnav . Without this we’d be in trouble. And guess what… Yes, you guessed right; as we entered the motorway system, the screen on the GPS SatNav went black. Nothing! No amount of tapping and banging it would resuscitate it back to life. No amount of telling it that its parents weren’t married would cajole it back from the dead….. It was, as the famous Monty Python sketch of the dead parrot went… an extinct SatNav…. An ex SatNav… A SatNav that has gone to meet its maker…. Probably somewhere in the Far East. So instead of the High Tech SatNav we were reduced to Crap-Nav. This is where you pull out that quaint old thing called a map. Something made out of paper? Do you remember what these things even are? They’re things according to our kids stuff from the dark ages. Things that should be confined to the dustbin of time and progress. Now let me tell you, and them, in a BIG way, that sometimes their new fangled technology, good as it may be, can be in serious trouble when it runs out of whatever it runs on! And then the old fashioned ‘technology’, totally comes into its own. We had a schematic map. Which after an hour of getting lost finally made it to our destination. So there! So far only two things have gone wrong. Quite good for us.

The shopping fix worked a treat for Dyana. Especially in the humungous Malls they have. One can’t go round the entire building in under 2 days.

So today was the day to go to Nashville (music City, here we come…) and arrived in plenty of time for any, or all eventualities. Checking the board, yes…. The flight is on time…… and yes…. We able to get through all the bureaucratic paperwork; checking in Dyana’s bag with all the lotions and potions over three hundred milliliters; (three point one ounces to the rest of us); psychologically kissing the bag goodbye as it disappeared on that long black conveyor, down into the void of the airport; hoping to see it at the other end; the body searches and having your face compared to the one in your passport… which normally does not match… removing shoes; belts; watches and anything that might set off any alarm bells and placing them into the boxes which then go through the X-ray machines. And finally making through to the other side. The side where the planes take off from… the side where all the gates are. Calmness and serenity reign. Checking the board again…. Yep... everything’s still OK. Flight on time and everything. The gate we had to get to was the furthest one… no problem. A short train ride to another terminal and another short walk. The train ride was OK and everything going swimmingly. A quick final check to make sure they had not changed the gate number or anything silly like that… and OOOOHHHH NOOOOO! The flight’s been cancelled. The only one on the board of over two hundred flights showing RED. There is nothing that can prepare you for this sort of news! Cancelled! Why? And why us? Getting to the gate in double quick time found out that the weather had deteriorated to such an extent that they had literally closed Nashville airport because of an ice storm…… with temperatures a couple of degrees below freezing! We stood there totally stunned. What to do…. When was the next flight! How to get onto that one… and all these sort of thoughts cross your mind all at once.

Well, American Airlines customer assistance was really helpful. “I’m really sorry, the next and only direct flight today is already overbooked. I don’t know why we do this sort of thing! Let me try and re-route you today…… Hmmm! How about if we try get you through to Charlotte.. and then on to Nashville! Oh no, that’s not going to work because Nashville is closed. Best I can do for you is tomorrow…. How about that?

“Don’t mess around … just book it before someone else does.” And as I said this, the alarm bells started ringing really loudly, this time not in my head, but throughout the airport terminal!... Oh No.

“Would everyone please step away from all the doors,” the loud booming voice over the Tanoy barked, “We’re shutting the airport down.”

“What? Shutting it down?”

“We are not allowing anything to take off and land because of lightning strikes all around the airport.” Now it’s starting to sound biblical to me with the ten plagues coming rapidly to mind. Snow; well below the norm in temperature; and now lightning.

So now we definitely can’t take off today, the airport being closed because of lightning and just so many irate passengers; time to leave. And of course find ourselves a hotel. Easier said than done. Right at the moment, Miami is the centre of the exhibition world. The biggest international boat show; the food fair and finally the Art Deco show; all on at the same time! Time to put on your thinking cap….. and get yourself out of the predicament!

We have an expression in England which goes something like this… ‘Bullshit baffles Brains.’ So; bold as brass went to the Super Gold Member check in for American Airlines. And in a perfect British accent while looking directly into the smiling lady’s eyes said, “Can you please help me. I’m an executive gold member of British Airways, and with you they call it the One World Alliance.”

“Oh yes,” she said, “Of course I can help you.” Whew; over the first hurdle. “What’s your membership number please?” hurdle number two.

And this is where the second bit of BS came in because I’m definitely not a gold club member “I’m not sure, because all our papers are in the checked bag that American Airlines took from us a short while ago,” flashing the tag from Dyana’s bag. So I then explained the predicament to her and like a fish on a line just drew her in. She phoned upstairs, to her backup crew instructing them to find something for us. Over that hurdle as well. And would you believe it, ten minutes later she came back with a voucher. Over the final hurdle and towards the finish line….

So being a ‘gold member’, they put us up in a really fabulous hotel. And tonight, being a Wednesday, the hotel has what they call a Happy hour. In reality it’s about two and half hours where they serve free food and wine. A great ending to what has been a quite disastrous day. The weather tomorrow does not look promising for flying either; and Dyana’s bag is somewhere in the system, we know not where! We hope to see it again sometime.

So, having a day like today, and ending up in this great hotel just goes to prove, that every snow cloud has a silver lining somewhere. All you have to do is to have the courage, savvy and foresight, to find it. The funny thing about all this, is that my family want me to book some of the travel arrangements to go to our daughters wedding in Greece later this year. Would you?