I made it to Ban Phe yesterday (Wednesday.) It was a long ride , 2 ½ hours, especially alone with a driver who spoke about 50 words in English total. He must have asked me if I was ‘kisstan’   3 times before he thumped his chest and said “I- Buddha”  and I got the picture.   I tried asking him what was growing in the fields or what was all that green bundled grass type stuff the trucks were hauling (marijuana?) but he always smiled broadly and bubbled “Yes, yes, yes!”  so I pretty much gave up the hope of any meaningful conversation.
 
I had just read yesterday morning in the Bangkok Post that Thailand planned to take over the world in shipping/exporting. Yeah, the mouse that roared. But on the way to Ban Phe (I always want to sing “Do you know the way to Ban Phe”) I saw yards and yards full of train cars piled 10 high , row upon row. What on earth are they shipping from little Thailand? Or to?
 
I have a little hotel room on the main (pretty much only) street in Ban Phe. It’s called the Tawan Inn, although I don’t know why. Tawan - not Taiwan, although that wouldn’t make any sense either. It’s owned by a nice fellow from Amsterdam and his partner.   I have a little balcony which I am sitting on now that has a view of the Gulf of Thailand. The entire bedroom and bathroom floors are beautiful marble and in the bathroom the marble goes up the wall to about chest height.   All for 350 baht/night or $10 US.
 
But before you get jealous, remember that Ban Phe is a tiny fishing village so once you step outside, it smells like you’re living in a cat food tin. And the electricity! Bundles of wires strung hither and yon - my view of the Gulf is from between lines of wire that stretch to about 10 feet off the ground in some places. How can this possibly be safe? But no one seems to mind.
 
Plus,I cheaped out and got a room without air con - $5 extra per night , electricity is expensive here - and I am regretting it already. I spent last night lying backwards (head to foot) on the bed as that seemed to be the most direct aim of the oscillating fan. Keep a wet washcloth on your head and viola! You can sleep for two hours until it’s time to wet the cloth again.
 
Ji and I met for dinner downstairs yesterday. I had Penang gai which is chicken in curry/coconut milk and very spicy even though you repeatedly ask for ‘mai ped’ - not spicy. I will meet with Lucky who is the Thai wife of Bruce (American), the couple who run TEFL school today. I just don’t know if they will have any position that I would be comfortable with for an extended period of time. Or any position at all. Ji said numbers are down and they have a passel of young men working for them already.   They do have TEFL schools all over the world, and maybe Nepal sounds interesting, I just don’t know. I guess I want to be sure I go somewhere that I am happy with but then again, there are no real guarantees in anything, are there? I’m attributing this to commitment jitters and trying to talk myself down. There are moments when I want to pick up my stuff and run. What is wrong with me?

I know I was in this same place emotionally when I first came to Thailand in 2006 and when I first was stuck with that turd of a pastor in Kenya so I have to keep trying to calm my nerves and remind myself that it will all work out. I know it will.
 
Well , here’s my agenda for today. Find someone to do my laundry. Meet with Lucky. Get a massage. Will this madcap pace ever end?
 
Keep working. Millions on welfare (and pension!) depend on you.