Not so sunny today

Thursday, September 23, 2010
Pak Kret, Nonthaburi, Thailand
Not the greatest day, today. So much went wrong.

We had a very long weekly meeting where we discuss each student individually, can you imagine? I had to sit by and listen to one teacher criticize another for a straight ten minutes over something so trivial that you just want to jump up on a chair and shout "get some freakin' perspective!"

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  Then our report card comments must be typed out (one for every student times every subject area) and edited by three different people - I guess there's a chance we might say something honest about little Pi and offend his parents.

We were told that we should attend the school's fund raiser - a Bollywood dinner/dance - but the tickets are $60 per and I don't have that kind of money to throw around. If I can't afford to go to the gym or even cable TV, why would I throw away $60 to go somewhere I don't fit in? I earn a little over a thousand dollars US a month - enough to live on, but certainly no extra "fun" money.  

 Plus I have virtually nothing to wear (do these people not realize that we came over here with one suitcase?) Even if I had any kind of dress (which I don't) there's no where in this country to buy shoes - what would I wear with it , sneakers or flip flops? We are handed tickets and told if we can't afford it, pay what you can, but you know I could never do that.

Then we are goaded into going to one of the parent's houses after school where an Indian dressmaker will fit you and sell you a dress. I saw one lady pick up a lovely beaded blouse and overheard someone tell her it was 8000B - $240. Sweet Jesus. I try to hang back to the other side of the room, hoping no one will notice my lack of interaction with the sorority ladies. God, I don't don't DON'T want to be here. Help me to get out gracefully please.

But as sure as God made little green apples, I am coaxed over to the dressmaker and the next thing I know, I am being shown beautiful Indian fabrics that I can't afford. And the next next thing I know, I am being measured for a dress that I can't afford. And the next next next thing I know, I am handing over 1000 B of the money I was holding onto for cable TV for a dress that I neither want nor can afford. Excuse me, has anyone seen my spine lately?  I seem to have misplaced it.

Was it my fault? After all, I am a grown woman, I should be able to put on my big girl pants and refuse at any time. But I never want to make a scene, so I go along.

Would it horrible of me if I just kissed the deposit good-bye and never picked up the dress? Would it be really horrible of me if I paid for the $60 ticket and just didn't show up?

And remember, I have no transportation, and you just can't conceivably get on the chicken bus and walk up to the sky train in your Bollywood number, so that means a taxi fare to and from downtown Bangkok at night, another added expense.

  Christ Almighty, what have I gotten myself into?   I would rather have a root canal than go to this thing. I don't know these people, I don't fit in with them and I don't want to. If schmoozing is your game, so be it, but it's not now or ever will be mine.

wah wah wah

had enough?

So sorry to have dumped on you, my listening friends.

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