For perspective, our complete itinerary for this six-week-long journey is:
We drove from Kansas City to Denver on January 31 and then flew to Los Angeles on February 2. In Denver, we stayed with Mandi and Bill and Henry. In Los Angeles (actually Dana Point/Monarch Beach) we stayed with Jake and Caroline.From Los Angeles (2/4), we sailed aboard the Cunard Queen Elizabeth for four days and nights to Honolulu where we spent one day (2/9).
Sailing from there, it takes four more days at sea (we cross the Equator on 2/11) to reach Pago Pago (2/14). Pago Pago sits on Tutuila Island, was born of a volcano and is pronounced not Pago Pago but Pango Pango. It is a part of the United States of America called American Samoa.
The next day we sail to Apia, Samoa (2/16) which is not a part of the United States. “That’s two days,” you might say. Not really because we cross the International Date Line and February 15 doesn’t happen for us.
Then we sail for four more days to Auckland, New Zealand (2/20).
While along side New Zealand’s two islands (North and South) we also port at Tauranga (2/21), then Napier (2/22) and then Wellington, our lone stop on the South Island (2/23). We had been scheduled to visit Christchurch but last year’s earthquake destroyed a good part of the city and also the pier where we would have moored so we cannot go there. This is not the way to see New Zealand as these stops are in cities. New Zealand is best seen via rental car over a span of a month with no real itinerary in mind save driving from the far north to the far south, staying in mom and pop motels each night along the way. We shall return to New Zealand to achieve that experience.
Then we gain a day re-crossing the International Date Line (experiencing 2/24 twice) and arrive at Papeete, Tahiti (2/28).
We sail overnight to Bora Bora (3/1). I’ve been here once and recall it as one of the most beautiful places I have ever seen.
Then we spend four more days sailing to Kahului, Maui (3/6) followed by a quick overnight cruise to Hilo (3/7).
Then homeward we go for four more days at sea finally arriving back where we started in Los Angeles (3/12) 36 days and nights after we left it. We will have crossed both the equator and the International Dateline each twice.
From Los Angeles, on the same day we dock, we fly to Denver and then drive the following day (or the next) from Denver to Kansas City.
We purchased this trip months ago, well before my partners decided to sell their piece of ej4 to me, before we decided to relocate ej4 from Overland Park to the Crossroads of Kansas City, before I decided to sell my condo at the Sulgrave/Regency and buy a new one at Kirkwood for the both of us to be, before Miles (my beautiful grandson) was born; before a lot of things. These things are all coming to a head right now and we’re away; far, far away. No matter. Life is good. Ryan and his team have ej4 well in hand. Brian is minding Kirkwood. Tom is minding the Regency/Sulgrave. Megan and Eric are minding Miles. Oh, and Bill, Mandi and Henry are minding Lily. We’re not minding being away.
Having booked too many excursions on our last cruise, most of which were below expectations, we decided to book no excursions on this journey. So, in Honolulu, we were on our own. Each of us has been to Honolulu many times over the years and we spoke of hotels in which we had stayed, restaurants at which we had dined and Gloria told me of shops at which she had shopped.
We had no need to re-visit the Arizona, or the Missouri—a must see if you haven’t been there—or Hilo Hatties—a Hawaiian store—or even Waikiki Beach or The Punchbowl or even Diamond Head. Been there, done that, not just once.
So, we decided we would simply hop on the Hop On Hop Off Bus, always a good bet. Recommended by Cunard and positioned right outside our berth at Pier 10 is the Waikiki Trolley. Three different routes (Red, Pink and Green) where you hop off when something interests you and upon slaking your curiosity there, you hop back on the next bus which trails you by, say, thirty minutes or so. It is a brilliant idea and a concept we have happily patronized in the past.
It turns out there are competing Hop On Hop Off companies in Honolulu. The Waikiki Trolley’s ticket, good for all three lines (uselessly for two days since we are staying but one) sells for $30 per person, cash only. We bought two.( Gloria…I’m glad, imagine the tension Paul had hopped on and left me at the bus stop.)
We knew there really wasn’t much to see in Honolulu from the bus and the bus drivers quickly verified that fact. The interesting thing is that the drivers share a trait—a personality trait—that gives Waikiki Trolley a unique marketing point of difference. They are (at least the drivers we had occasion to experience) obnoxious.Frustrated comedians they are. My recommendation to you, when you are in Honolulu and wish to make use of a Hop On Hop Off product, is that you avoid Waikiki Trolley. The commentary provided by the drivers rivals chalk screeching on a blackboard, that feedback from a public address system where the microphone and speakers create a loop of unendurable noise or even last night’s 11:00pm octogenarian Karaoke singers on board QE. Ouch. One driver remarked that, “I’m not crazy,” enough times that I began to wonder if he in fact was. Another driver chuckled at his own comments so often that I considered jumping over the rail and attempting an injury-reducing roll on the asphalt below. The third driver told jokes in English and then repeated them in Japanese each time, which caused me to pity the bilingual Asian woman, seated in front of us. She was forced to grimace twice for each tasteless story. If you avoid Waikiki Trolley, you most assuredly will have a more pleasant time in Honolulu. (It was a like a really bad version of the Gong Show without the welcome break of Soupy Sales../painful). We can only hope that the weather is as wonderful for you as it was for us.
Honolulu lies on the south shore of the island of Oahu, which is divided from the northwest to the southeast by two mountain ranges. This, Oahu’s capital city, boasts 400,000 inhabitants. They seem to be either lower middle class, homeless or unbelievably wealthy. The Waikiki drivers pointed out the wealthy and ignored the rest. We stopped midway to use Starbucks for both reviving and Wi-Fi. ( we didn’t realize at the time that it would be the last efficient wifi/internet connection until New Zealand. As I say that, we have as yet to reach Auckland tomorrow, so I am assuming…)
Then it is back to the ship to prepare for our 2,275 nautical mile journey to Pago Pago, American Samoa. Pronounced Pango Pango, the place is spelled Pago Pago because the missionaries who first wrote of this place had in their type box no “N’s.” So, instead of printing it as Pango Pango, they did the next best thing: Pago Pago. That’s uts, do’t you thik?
Dinner aboard Queen Elizabeth is “elegant casual” which means for me a jacket at the least. Not a “least” type person, I wear a tie and feel good about it. Gloria is elegant as she always is and we dine at Table 390 in Britannia with Beth and Keith and Susan and Joe.
Sunday is full with a four mile walk on deck three (a lap is three-tenths of a mile),
a Photoshop Overview seminar at ConneXions, breakfast at the Lido, a lecture at the Royal Court Theatre (RCT) entitled “Peopling the Pacific: How Did the Polynesian, Melanesian and Micronesian Peoples Get There?” (they sailed down from Taiwan), a RCT Port Presentation on Pago Pago where we decided to purchase a tour, lunch on the fantail
by the pool, a RCT Classical Piano Concert of works by Chopin and Ravel by Dominic John (winner of the Brant International Piano Competition, RCM Chappell Gold Medal
, 2004 British Music Society Award and prize winner at the Corpus Christi International Competition for Piano and Strings) followed by Afternoon Wipeout Trivia at the Golden Lion Pub followed by some bubbly in cabin 7113 whilst cleaning up followed by a semi-formal (suit and tie for me, cocktail dress or trouser suit for G) a scheduled dinner al fresco beneath the stars on Deck Ten’s Lido Bar by the pool but, being a tad too windy, we instead went to the Britannia Dining Room only to find our table of six empty so we dined alone.
After dinner it was Liar’s Club in the Pub followed by a bizarre revue in the theatre. The dancers were followed by a smallish man from Asuncion playing his Paraguayan harp. It was, frankly, a bit weird. When it comes to weird, however, weird can be a good thing as it was this evening. We had a fine time.
Monday is rocky and rolly as the winds are blowing at 35 knots. No one is getting sick; on the contrary the movement of the ship is fun and, whilst on deck, exhilarating. Walking Deck Three I am reminded of the expression, “Three Sheets to the Wind,” because I am staggering a bit. An either uphill or downhill slope accompanied by either a head wind or tail wind complicates our gait across the stern. When the turn is made to head towards the bow, the roll of the ship becomes left to right and the wind stops. I must look inebriated.
When the sails aboard early ships were cast to the wind it would cause a great shuddering and staggering to occur. The ship would therefore tack left and then right and then left again resembling the walk of a drunken sailor. So, such an out of control walk came to be known as “three sheets to the wind.” Today, that is what I am on my walk: three sheets to the wind.
Later we listen to Roger McGuinn lecture again (insightful and fun), have a nice al fresco lunch, do some laundry, attend a Mac iPhoto class, enjoy a pianist, have a wonderful dinner, enjoy the pianist again and, finally, head to bed.
We are aware of two cruise ship stories from other parts of the world; they distract us from our idyllic existence aboard Queen Elizabeth. We sympathize with those poor souls aboard the Carnival Triumph who are adrift in wretched conditions in the Caribbean and mourn the deaths of the crewmen who lost their lives in a lifeboat drill last week in Europe. One hopes these things don’t come in threes.Tuesday arrives with anticipation as we cross the equator heading south southwest from Hawaii to Samoa. Besides the traditional “Pollywogs to Shellbacks Crossing the Line” ceremony presided over by King Neptune,
there are lectures, a port presentation on Apia, trivia, a string quartet concert, cocktails with The Captain, at 8:30 a formal dinner (tuxedo time, my favorite), conversations with Beth and Keith over dinner, our favorite pianist (Robin Rose) in the Pub and a magician extravaganza after dinner at 10:30 in the theatre. It’s a busy day. On these sea days, we see nothing. No whales, no ships, no islands, no atolls; nothing but sea as far as you can, well, see. Except for today when we see a lone fishing boat in the distance.
It is a big ocean. Consuming seventy-five percent of the planets surface, the ocean is our defining feature and gives us the nickname, “blue planet” because of its tendency to reflect the color of the sky. This lack of “everything” save the sea reminds me of how idyllic this adventure is.
Our favorite lecturer is Dr. Denny Whitford, a University of Maryland professor and retired U.S. Navy Captain, who said it best: “Calling this planet ‘Earth’ is a misnomer., it should be called Sea.” Whitford is a great teacher, exactly what one would hope for. His delivery is fun, light and educational.
Wednesday, our last day at sea before Pago Pago, is a port presentation on Auckland (although it seems a bit early in the voyage), a lecture from Dr. Whitford (he really is again superb) on tsunamis, reading of books, more trivia, singers in concert in the Royal Court Theatre (I hope they fly new singers in for the Auckland to Los Angeles leg as too much repetition of even a good thing is, well too much), dinner with Keith and Beth (more delightful each evening) and Robin Rose on piano in the Golden Lion.
(We have great experiences and feelings about trivia. On our last cruise we met great friends that way, and the same is happening here. But we have been spoiled. One of the social staff, Laura, is the quirkiest , funniest young woman. She was a stand up comic before she signed on with Cunard, and she has the entire ship laughing. For the first few days she hosted Trivia, and the entire pub was in stitches. But now…).and Trivia is getting tedious because the same team wins each and every time. We think they have heard all the questions before. The moderator is a severe young woman who wears her hair in a tight bun which stretches her face so tightly that she cannot smile. “Please be quiet, everyone,” she shouts with an exasperated tone. We long for the other moderator, Laura, who is most accurately described as a “hoot.” Trivia is a Jekyl and Hyde affair depending upon who hosts.
One question from Mr. Hyde with the bun this afternoon: “Two beaches from the Normandy landing in World War II were named for U.S. states. One of them is Omaha. Name the other.” It was not a good idea to correct her so we didn’t. The whole thing is worth a laugh as we are not among those who take this competition seriously.
And now for a word about Port Presenter Gavin. A delightful soul, Gavin is a Brit who works in the tours office and seemingly may or may not know anything about the ports we will visit. He speaks for 45 minutes about each one with information that would fill ten minutes. My tenets of my business require brevity and a minimalist approach to verbosity so I am overly critical here. By his accent and vocabulary he is not well educated but he makes up for that by stringing together words and phrases accompanied by conjunctions and asides, repeating himself sometimes even in the same sentence. Things you want to know he does not discuss but he is a heck of seller of tours. If you are a fan of Herman’s Hermits you might recall their hit record, “I’m Enery the Eighth, I am.” That’s Gavin because he utters no “H’s” (to which he readily admits) calling them “haich.” I like Gavin even though I shouldn’t.
Pago Pago is a no go. Tiny on Tutuila Island (18 miles long and 5 miles wide), Pago Pago has no historic sights, no shopping, no bars or restaurants save a McDonald’s with a drive thru lane and no transportation of quality. Overwhelming all of that is this fact: Pago Pago boasts smiling and happy inhabitants with whom I am proud to share the title, “American Citizen.” Heavy set as a rule, tattooed, dark skinned and glad to see you, they make the most of not much. We strolled until we nearly reached the Starkist tuna packing plant and then took an overpriced excursion inside an underequipped bus thing. The highlight of the trip was a native dance program at Two Dollar Beach which made up for boorish behavior by a German couple and an American woman who shared our uncomfortable conveyance. Words cannot describe the American woman. Should we ever be assigned to a dining table with her we will leap overboard. OMG. Let it be known that these folks are not representative of the whole of our shipmates; most are lovely people. (Who knew that bus touring was a competitive sport as to who gets what seat? And who is made to feel as though they have leprosy and can’t share a particular seat) BTW, Pago Pago is filled with litter. I know for a fact that they have lots of canned soda, chips, pretzels, beer and use plastic bags. That’s before I got in the store, it’s all laying along the sidewalks.No WiFi of substance was available so I was unable to post a blog entry from this, our first glimpse of land after four days at sea. We cast our lines at 5:30 and waved an enthusiastic goodbye to the pilot boat (returned with exuberance and joy as is typical of these people) as we cleared the harbor. I won’t look back on the place but I admire the people.
Here’s a first. Tonight, we set our clocks forward 25 hours. I am not certain I even know how to do that.
The shining sea
Thursday, February 14, 2013
Pago Pago, Tutuila, American Samoa
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