Canyoning

Tuesday, August 17, 2010
Inchree, Scotland, United Kingdom
We'd booked an experience through Vertical Descent in Inchree. We signed up for canyoning down Inchree Falls. This involves scrambling and sliding down numerous waterfalls and clambering over rocks for a couple of hours.

The biggest challenge for me, however, appeared to be how to get into a neoprene wetsuit designed for thin people with no boobs (skinny men, in other words) . I felt trussed up like a chicken, and once the life-jacket was added, I could hardly breathe, let alone swim. Bending to scramble seemed virtually impossible. I was puffing like an old horse and about as graceful as King Kong on the dance-floor. I thought I was going to faint - and that was just on the walk in.

Once in the cold water, the suffocating feeling eased, but the inability to move fluidly didn't. Neoprene plus life-jacket = cushioning from rocks when sliding down a gully, followed by floating instead of swimming. This then leads to a flailing and floundering exhibition, instead of positive graceful swimming, and a kind of beached whale event upon arrival at the far bank.

Despite this, it was excellent fun. Donny and Mel were up for everything - jumping in off the side from three metres up, sliding down 16 feet of waterfall and inching their way across the face of the falls whilst the spray drummed on their helmets.

The final hurdle is a zip-wire above a 37ft falls. It is one of those zips that drops you about three metres before catching your weight and sliding you into the water. I was last, of course -I'd been bringing up the rear all along - so I'd watched everyone else do it. Anticipation is a terrible thing!

In the end, I just jumped as though I was going to land in the water, and it wasn't too lurch-y.The fear of the drop is what puts you off jumping. I landed inelegantly, backwards, with a massive splash. I surfaced to see one of the leaders taking a photos of me. Hmm.

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