It's Gonna Get HOW Hot??

Wednesday, June 15, 2011
Ξυλοφάγου, GB.03, Cyprus
I don't know whether they're winding me up or not, but apparently last year the temperature touched 50°C in August. Excuse me? And how am I meant to function in that? Don't get me wrong, I fucking love the heat. Give me a tropical climate any day. I don't deal well with cold and have spent the last 5 years living in countries where it's not necessary to own a coat and this has suited me just fine although other things that love a hot climate are biting insects. Cyprus, seriously, you are no where near awesome enough to warrant mosquitoes. Now give me my fucking blood back.

The thing with heat is, it's awesome when you're just visiting, but when you live there and work in a customer facing job this has drawbacks. It's only June and I'm finding that it's impossible to maintain a respectable Lesbian Haircut when it's 35°C in the shade. I'm slowly discovering the melting point of hair product. When I first got here after 8 months of not cutting my hair I decided to experiment with an emo cut which I did like apart from the fact I couldn't see through my left eye. Stupid fringe.

As it started to heat up and I began to lose control of my hair I started to resemble Justin Bieber after a fight with a staple gun. It didn't matter what I did to it, it just flopped to the side and screamed "gay teenage pop star." Oh yes, the Bieber Flop is now in the top 10 of Hair Fads That Lesbians Must Go Through along with the skin head and the faux hawk but not one I could feasibly continue with when it plastered itself to my forehead 4 minutes after stepping outside. So it's a return to the faux hawk for me. 2006 called, it wants its hair style back.

Anyway, if you need me I'll be lying very still under a ceiling fan whilst gazing longingly at the AC unit.
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