When I Say Ayia, You Say Napa

Sunday, July 03, 2011
Αγία Νάπα, Famagusta, Cyprus
Ayia Napa, also affectionately known as Napa for short, or Ayia Ayia Fucking Napa by the hoards that fly to Cyprus especially to dress identically, drink shit loads of cheap grog and vomit in the street, is pretty much the party capital of the island. It's either fucking awesome or fucking horrible depending on your point of view or how smashed you are but whatever, it's gotta be better than the family friendly alternative at Protaras which quite frankly just makes your ear drums bleed. There's far too much karaoke which is fine if you like that sort of thing but if I enter a bar and a member of the public is clutching a microphone, I either hyperventilate or curl up in a corner and weep.

So, like, I would love to give you a well written and coherent review of the club scene but the few times I've been I've been drunk enough to not remember the cab ride home. Probably a good thing given the cost of a cab or I'd end up in the foetal position, clutching my wallet and apologising to it profusely.

Incidentally, Napa isn't my thing although by rights I should love it. The music is brilliant, it's an epic party, the whole town is cheesier than my feet after a six day trek, there are so many chicks wearing not very much and the streets are lined with reps offering cheap drinks and two-for-one shots. It has all the ingredients for awesomeness, it's just a shame that a lot of the people that go there redefine dickhead. I've never seen so many tossers in one place at one time and I tend to prefer my nights out to not involve being verbally abused by groups of chavs. Clearly I've spent too long around queers and travellers, I forgot there was still that level of ignorance inherent in too many Brits, aaaaand end paragraph before this minor digression turns into a four page essay on inbreeding.

So anyway, in lieu of a proper post please accept these photos I got off the internet of the epic tackiness that is Ayia Napa.

 

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