Today is a day that has been hatched some time back. Allow me to explain - When I was last in England (would that be the only time I hear you say) at one of the many wing dings I made social appearances at, a fine gentleman by the name of Martin Coulthard who is friends of Kim and Deb and as turns out is an civil engineer, working for The City of London Corporation over the last 30 odd years out of the Guildhall complex. He offered a guided tour of his patch - one square mile of Central London - both above and under ground.

The chickens had now come home to roost .

With my engineer in tow, a surprise for John was arranged and boy o boy did Martin go to town on that aspect. Train to town at 8.00am then we join the other 700 trillion punters on the tube going to work. Meet up with Martin, chat with nearly every employee in the complex then kitted up with hard hat and standard issue yellow vest and steel cap boots we are off to tour sites. Firstly a street under construction then back via a guided tour of the sights including St Paul's cathedral - did you know that it is in actual fact an illegal building as no planning permits were issued for its construction. Although Martin seems to have been with the corporation forever he claims no responsibility!! Perhaps the 1675 construction date may be a pointer to this.

We then turned a corner and there sat a corporation van - out popped fellow yellow vested team members and then a few more seemed to appear from nowhere - hi Martin and then they set to task, orange barriers erected, winches arranged and a large metal pit trap door was opened . We are then given safety harnesses and gas meters and gloves and safety torches, introduced to our team leader then one at a time down the ladder - CLEAR, then next down. Well never have you seen people even more prouder than punch (and they should be) as the tunnel has with brickwork never seen by today's standards and never seen by anyone but a few - just amazing and I missed the photo opportunity as well - sorry folks.

Next stop via another Martinfied walking talking tour - funny thing, people were stopping me and asking questions and directions, ahh the power one wields with a hard hat and a yellow vest! Next was a building right on the River Thames, one that just looks like any nondescript facade - yes it is the refuse centre! We again are given the right royal treatment, John is now equipped with the best ridgey didge tax deduction one could dream. Long chat with all and sundry then a tour of epic rubbish proportions, they crush and load into boxes ( in talk for containers) then load onto barges for transportation down the River Thames . Do you know this takes 28 lorries off the road each time!

Ever heard of piss wells? No I hear you say. This is an invention that helps keep the city buildings and back lane ways freeish from,well yes, piss! Sorry folks for the crassness but it is what it is.They drop these around the city (in public spaces) at 10.00 pm and pick them up at 5.00am the next morning, sorry girls nothing to see here. Check out the pic on this one.

Then off to a guided tour of the Guildhall built in the twelfth century - if ever you sought confirmation on the value of an insider then spend a little time with Martin, particularly within the confines of his backyard. For hundreds of years The Lord Mayors have held court from within as Dick Whittington would have done in the fourteenth century. Not bombed and missed in the great fire of London just how one can take it all in?

Then to the pub at 3.00 pm for a pint with bangers and mash. Thank you Martin for an experience that simply can not be replicated.

Now across to the Tate Modern for a look see then a wander down stream past the London Eye and then back across the river to walk past the Houses of Parliament and Big Ben with Westminster Abbey right next door. Tick, tick, tick. Then more walking onto Trafalgar Square and then into the edge of the theatre district around Lester Square - feel like we are moving around the monopoly board. By this time it is around 8.00 pm so place the nose bag on then by tube at Piccadilly Circus to xxx then home station of Great Missenden then by taxi (Maserati make a fine taxi) home - my feet tell me we have come a long way today. Talk about being in the top end of town.