Hey Hey and a Big G'Day toya,

Not that I was thinking about you or anything.
But this one’s for all of my friends back in Melbourne.
Yes I know you bloody well got to see Motorhead on Saturday night!

While you were all waking Sunday morning with your Beer Goggles still on I was far out in the mountains, between the mountains, on the mountains and once or twice even in the mountains. The 'On the Mountains’ part of it nearly killed me but six hours later I finally placed my peddle ridden weary feet inside the ‘On The Mountains’ temple that offers amazing 360 degree views of the Shaowu area where I met up with Candy who was one of the Chinese English Teachers at my school the last time I was teaching in Shaowu.

This time Candy is known as Stephanie.
But I don’t really know Stephanie as I only know Candy.
So I struggled to look at Candy and say Hello Stephanie as who is Stephanie.

So like wow, I think I have the plot for Bourne Part IV, like, instead of Jason searching for his lost car keys or the identity of Ferris’s mother’s best friend’s uncles second cousins boyfriends cat, he could like find out who Stephanie is. Is she Candy or is Candy Stephanie and if Stephanie is Candy, then what actually happened to Candy. Like, I was really confused when I said ‘Hello Candy’ and she said, no I’m Stephanie now and I said, like, but you are Candy.

She said like, no.
No I’m not, I’m Stephanie now.
I said like, um…but you are Candy.
She said like, listen Girlfriend, I’m Stephanie.

I was like, still trying to catch my breath from my long and winding ride up the mountain, trying to stay standing, smile for all the photo’s along with struggling with an identity crises so I gave in and said ‘Hello Stephanie’ all the while looking around searching for Candy or any sign of her past reality.

For the rest my ride I felt warm and fuzzy at seeing my friend…Stephanie.
But at the same time I found myself missing my old friend…Candy.
Argh, the Chinese and their English name changes!

I think I’ll change my name to Ferris Bueller and then I can pull a sickie and when my headmaster asks where I am I can have someone say…Um, he's sick. My best friend's sister's boyfriend's brother's girlfriend heard from this guy who knows this kid who's going with the girl who saw Ferris pass out at 31 Flavours last night. I guess it's pretty serious. I can then have Yan or Joyce change their name to Simone who can then say;

No problem whatsoever’ and then add ‘Oh, he's very popular. The sportos, the motorheads, geeks, sluts, bloods, wastoids, dweebies, dickheads, they all adore him and think he's a righteous dude.

Anyhow, I think I’ve had enough of being Ferris, all this racing around with my headmaster chasing me and I don’t think I could handle Joyce or Yan changing their name to Simone as what happens if both of them agree and both become Simone at the same time. I’d then have to have Yu Wen Jin change his name to Cameron and then my Beers N Noodles would get all confused and I’d probably start eating more rice and drink more tea and Eddakath would become Ferris and then I’d miss Audrey Hepburn and my headmaster would then become Ed Rooney who would be waiting for me at the back of my classroom when I returned and wasn’t sick (not that I was sick in the first place) and my headmaster who is now Ed Rooney would say;

Les jeux sont faits; The game is up.
Your ass is mine.

Beers N Noodles toya…..shane

PS: I've just had a friend ask me why I didn't take more photo's of when I was on top of the 'On Top of the Hill Temple Mountain'....well take a look at photo 23 (the one with all the far off trails) and then add in meeting Candy/Stephanie and trying to capture your breath...the only thing on my mind was actually making it up the mountain. If you look again and look at how far the city is from the actual small mountain tree line then you will see how far the actual beginnng of the journey up is, as 'those' from the city begin their journey from the far away mountain top.

They catch a bus to that place, yet I had lready ridden four hours prior.
So my actualy days ride was not six hours but more like seven to eight hours 

PSS: As its been sometime between blogs, this was just a little something I put together to let you all know that I am alive and well and still bordering on that fine line between sanity and insanity. I’ve been working on several other blogs but due to the rain, bad weather, the frequent cold snaps along with too many DVD’s and cold beer, there really hasn’t been enough time to finish them. But now that the weather has turned expect my pack to be thrown upon many grotty local bus floors and some fonts to be spun into more silly things I like to call blogs!

PSSS: and for anyone who speaks French, here is the correction my buddy Chris just sent me;

You poor illiterate Oz plonker, don’t they teach you anything at Wallaby school?
Les jeux sont faits; does not mean The game is up.

Les jeux is the plural of le jeu (the game) so obviously les jeux would mean the games – this is easy to confirm by looking at the verb sont which is the 3rd person plural of the verb to be ‘etre’ so obviously if the verb is plural and the noun and its article are plural – the translation can’t be singular – sheesh.

Me: Of course that was...um...soooooooo obvious to me and everyone else who saw the movie and drinks beers and eats noodles, but as Ozzy Ozbourne once said; Don't Blame Me...he obviously then added.....blame the writers of the movie Ferris Buellers Day Off ya silly bugger!

Chris: of course I could be wrong.
Me: Um....ARGH, forgive me for not taking French lessons!
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The soundtrack to this entry was by Motorhead
The album was ‘Another Perfect Day’
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