Hey Hey and a Big G'Day toya,

Getting the actual ticket was a real bugger.
The train journey back was a more than a real shaker.
After a twenty seven hour journey I can once again be found in the land of northern noodles.

After saying good bye to Sofia and Steph I left Zhaoqing and decided to head back to Guangzhou to snack myself around the city for a few days before heading back north.   I found a hotel near the main train station which turned out to be a real watery experience as for some reason everything leaked. The walls were always wet and the roof constantly dripped so much that when I woke on the next morning my head and pillow were half soaked as was my pack on the other bed.

Obviously I packed and grabbed another nearby hotel to throw my pack in

Most of my daylight hours were spent revisiting the many tranquil parks that can be found around the city and my neon nights were spent walking and snacking my way around the bustling brightly lit streets most of which were found around the Xia Jiulu and the Shang Jiulu shopping street area. Some of my daylight hours were wasted at the train station where each visit I had to stand in line for over an hour. The first visit of course was to grab the initial ticket north after which I walked away stamping my feet with a hard seat ticket for a twenty seven hour journey as there were no hard sleeper tickets left. After a flash flood of previous 'over twenty hour’ hard seat journeys I returned to see if I could upgrade to soft sleeper. Thankfully I got the same lady as the previous day who told me that if I could wait she was sure one would be returned soon. This of course meant I could have to stand there for many hours but the flash flood of past memories made the wait worthwhile.

Thankfully I only had to wait for an hour and rode my happy cloud out of the station with a smile.

Several hours later I got a text message from Buckland’s telling me that it was best not to return early as the school I’m going to likes their foreign teachers to arrive on the March 1st and instantly the fluffy white clouds floating in my Soft Sleeper mind soon darkened and I once again returned to the busy ticket office at the train station to change the date of my ticket and grab another four days in Canton city. After well over an hour’s wait I was given a big NO and the ticket was thrown back to me by a lady who for obvious reasons had had enough of her day behind the glassed window that separated her from thousands of rude and impatient Chinese who all pushed and shoved each other in and out of line trying to be next.

Right now in China it is the last few days of Spring Festival.
As usual they are some of the worst!

Now you have millions of students trying to grab tickets back to their school along with many others who are trying to either change their ticket or grab an extra ticket for a friend. As usual the rudest and most disgusting behavior on the planet was performed by none other than the Chinese Military who walked to the front of any line, shoved their stupid little red book into everyone’s face and then shoved them out of the way. The silly assed git who tried that on me had my passport shoved back in his face and a return shove towards the back of the line and surprise to me and all those around he actually went to the back of the line.

Um…Military Red Book versus Australian Passport…how in the world did mine win?
Maybe he was a nice guy and beneath his uniform there was a man of thought and respect.

For those who think that the Chinese people ‘love and adore’ their military you are sadly mistaken. Due to many soldiers total disrespect for anyone around them who isn’t wearing a uniform many of the Chinese citizens now return as much as the soldiers give. They scream abuse and shove them back but sadly it is the police who love and adore the Military and allow them to rudely shove aside the next to be served, take their place and totally ignore the frustrations of those who have been waiting in line for hours.

SO FOR THOSE TRAVELLING OR WANTING TO TRAVEL CHINA BY TRAIN;
YOU CAN ONLY MAKE CHANGES ON YOUR TICKET ONCE!

Each evening after my snacks and lit neon walks I headed down to relax at Lucy’s Bar on the small yet peaceful Colonial, Shamian Island which sits at the fork of the Zhu Jiang (Pearl River) in the south west part of town. On my last night I made the awesomely fun mistake of grabbing a chair at a young English guys table. I think his name was Charles and as he was obviously well educated and from a very well to do family I think Charles is a good name. We soon began to share stories and not long after we were joined by a very jolly Syrian guy with the strangest of names that I can’t remember. I do know it was the same word twice and Zat Zat or Zoot Zoot come to mind. We threw words around until well after closing time during which I caught up on many things that have been happening around the world over the past five years and after saying our drunken goodbyes I grabbed a cab back to the Sanyuanli Area and then spent the next hour across at a small bbq area I spent many hours at during last winter’s Guangzhou Beers N Noodles Adventure.

Around mid day I somehow I managed to rise and partially shined my way to the train station.
One the way I grabbed some noodles for brunch and two coffee’s to go.

I then joined the millions in the waiting room and thankfully I had only five minutes wait until it was time to board my northern bound train. Five minutes after boarding found me checking out the tiny denim and high heeled Chinese beauties on the back of my eyelids and I slept for the first six hours of my journey and sadly that was almost all the sleep I was going to get for the huge price of my soft sleeper ticket. I woke around eight thirty and found three other guys had joined me, I don’t know what they had been doing or drinking for the past six or so hours but they all lay sprawled out on their beds and were rattling the roof with their loud snores.

It was then that I knew I was knackered in the sleep department.
I tried to read in bed but soon I found peace on the small isle seat by the window.

Around mid night I decided to give sleeping another try and plugged my ears with my head phones (which has always worked in the past) but this time they made barely a difference. After an hour of kicking the bunk above me and slapping the hand of the guy in the bunk next to me I was returned to the small isle seat by the window to watch the darkened world go by. I am serious, in not only all of my years of travel but also those of the two cute train girls, none of us had ever come across what we heard coming from that compartment.

The three of them rattled and rolled the roof and to our amusement they let off some of the most awesome farts we had ever heard that had us almost on the floor laughing.

I’m not sure how many of the people reading this have ever travelled Sort Sleeper before but it isn’t cheap so soon the train girls took pity on me and kept bringing me free bottles of beer. As they wouldn’t take no for an answer nor my money I was hoping they both wanted to get me drunk to have their way with me but in reality I’m sure it was just to get me sloshy enough to drop off to sleep in what became known as the Pig Sty.   I think it was around half five when I finally dropped off but not long after (around eight) I was woken by the social chit chat of my three smelly compartment buddies who were all refreshed and wide eyed from their roll in the hay. Thankfully not long after one of the train girls dropped in for a chat to them they all headed to the food carriage so I am sure she told them of the previous nights noise fest.

I thankfully grabbed another few hour’s sleep, woke feeling much better and then joined my bunk buddies for some noodles and a chat about life and what I have been up to in China.

Our translator was a young business man named Yan who even though he hadn’t spoken to a foreigner nor used his English in over five years, done a hell of a job and rarely needed my help with anything. It was such a wonderful time that the past nights frustration cleared as fast as the ‘air of death’ that hung low in the compartment. Around five this evening we all said our goodbyes (during which I gave a moments silence for their wives who each night try to sleep beside them) and I walked from the north gate to the south gate of Xian and grabbed a room for the next few nights in my usual hotel.

At the moment I’m grabbing free Wi-Fi, eating a Chef’s salad and relaxing with a few ice cold beers at the hostel across from my hotel. I just got off the phone to Chen Miao and we will happily catch up tomorrow morning and spend the day at what is known as Famen Si which is a temple a few hours west of Xian city where supposedly one of the Buddha’s Finger Bone’s can be found.

If the Buddha’s finger bone isn’t enough to get me out of bed early,
Then seeing Chen Miao more than will be!
Beers N Noodles toya…..shane
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The soundtrack to this entry was by Cinderella
The album was ‘Heartbreak Station’
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