I met up with a girlfriend this week who has been, and still is, going through a super difficult time in her life. She shared with me the last 10 traumatic years of her life of being in a mentally abusive relationship, and now the struggle of trying to recover from this experience over the last 18 months. The thing that struck me the most in her story was that although people she worked with everyday could see that she was not the person she used to be, they did nothing to help her. No one reached out to her. No one asked "are you ok?" Instead they turned a blind eye while she suffered. And I can relate to this. Being passively mentally bullied by my previous manager, I even asked for help when he threatened me, and no one did a thing. Three of my confidants in my office did nothing to help me because they didn't want to jeopardise their own working relationship with this person. It is amazing how easy it is for people on the outside to ignore someone in need of help. Meanwhile, that person just continues to spiral down hill into a hole of depression and loses their confidence and self worth. This hole is easy to fall into, but it is super hard to climb back out. 
 
Since I've been home, I've caught up with several of my friends who have also fallen into this hole . And I've also heard of several others who couldn't even see a way out of this hole and ultimately ended their lives. Although it's easy for us to judge and call these people "selfish" for leaving their loved ones behind, and don't get me wrong, I agree, it IS selfish. But I also know that when things seem hopeless, when there is no way to escape your thoughts, your feelings, your emotions.....the only thing that would help is if you could stop feeling, anything. 

With the end of 2015 coming, and 2016 around the corner, I'm doing one last emotional dump for the year. Why? Not to get sympathy or messages of encouragement. But because I want people to read this and recognise that if you are in a position where you are feeling bad or sad or unable to cope, you are NOT ALONE! There are so many of us who have been there or are still there, so you should NOT feel embarrassed or inadequate that life for you is not perfect. You should not feel worthless. And you should not be afraid to ask for help. 
 
And those of you who are not in a hole - you need to help those who need a hand to get out of their hole. You need to recognise that you have the ability to help others to see a way out and feel better and all you have to do is talk to them. Ask them if they are ok, and if they are not, genuinely HELP that person. Listen. Think. And ACT in a way that you would like to be treated if you were in their shoes. 
 
And I'm especially sick of hearing stories if people treating other people badly. And I don't even have to hear stories of it happening to other people. I have been experiencing it frequently this month myself - amazing the difference such a short amount of time makes. I read my blogs I've written since I've been home, and I was so happy to be here. This month, I've struggled on a couple of levels: 1) with the wet season setting in, my usual daily outdoor activity fix is being reduced. 2) the new person I let into my life, thinking they were a good positive person to have turned out to let me down in a big way, because ultimately he too is a selfish coward. 3) I have one arsehole ex continue to ignore me about sending me my belongings. Another arsehole ex decides he no longer will pay me back the money he owes me and told me to seek legal advice. And the third arsehole ex jogged passed me as I watched the sunrise on the beach in my own happiness, and he spat at my feet! So there you go - when it rains, it pours. I hate that people think they can get away with treating people with disrespect. And I especially hate it when people feel threatened by other people because these people are ultimately better people than they are and they try to bring those people down. And keep them down. For all of you out there who know what I'm talking about - don't let people bring you down in this life. Recognise that they are a negative force and remove them from your life. You don't need them. Surround yourself with positive people who actually care about YOU and not themselves. Positive experiences. Positive energy. Everyday! 
 
I wish nothing but strength, happiness and light to all of you in 2016. Thank you to everyone for your support in 2015 - without it, I don't think I would have reached this point where I have the strength to help others and try to climb my way out of my hole. Happy New Year!