Friends who live nearby recently bought a most beautiful little kitten. She's absolutely adorable and longs to be with people. And as all little kittens are… totally playful; watching you intently through those gorgeous gingerish eyes before taking off at the speed of light only to leap into the air onto some imaginary object before landing. Looking back at you over her shoulder as to say.. 'Now! How was that!’ I think she’s only about five months old now; a long haired Persian with the most beautiful grey coat. I think the picture says it all. Don’t you think so?

Well, the other night our friends came home and the kitten was quite, now how can I put it, ‘not quite herself .’ She was rushing round the apartment like a tiny demented demon. Going up to her owners then rushing towards the sliding glass door leading from their bedroom to the small walled garden. Again and again she did this making the owners quite curious. They peered through the glass and could not see anything untoward at all. They wondered if the cat was just plain happy to see them back and was doing something different. No, the cat was definitely looking through the glassat something. Looking out again definitely could not see anything at all. Oh Well, time to let the cat out and watch through the glass. You can tell they were very brave indeed. "Let the cat go out and we’ll watch through the glass from the safety of our bedroom. That’s a good idea." So out the little moggy went! Into the blackness! And the door was firmly shut! Now I can hear you thinking, if not saying, “that poor little cat. Out there… and all alone as well. Now what sort of true animal lover owners would do a thing like that!” and you’d be right .
Well the cat definitely knew that there was something there. It knew not what! But still went on intrepidly exploring into all the dark nooks and crannies that a garden contains. Much braver than the owners don’t you think? And suddenly it leapt up in the air and backed off to the middle of the garden. Now let me explain the geography of the garden. The centre is all paved with a narrow strip of soil and plants right round all the edges. So the little kitten stood in the centre; hackles raised; looking, no
staring into one of the garden beds. The owners looked at each other. ‘Should we
have sent out this brave little soldier to do our work?’ Too late now! She’s out there and we’re in here. The kitten took a few short steps in the direction she’d been staring at. Stalking whatever there was in the darkness. They watched it not quite knowing what to do. The kitten was getting closer again; poised like a statue… totally immovable. Staring at… who knew what? And one second it was it was near the bed, and a nano second later it was back in the centre of the paved area, still staring in THAT direction while backing slowly towards the bedroom sliding door. No doubt that in its tiny mind, hoping against hope the owners would open the door and rescue her! And that’s precisely what happened. I can hear us all going Whew. Safe at last. And getting that warm and cosy feeling again.

So now onto chapter two of this episode.

The lady of the house went to get a torch, (flashlight to all the others), and while at a safe distance shone the beam directly into the foliage. “EEEEEEEEEEEK!!!!” and in another split second the sliding door was slammed behind her. “Quick,” she called to her husband, “there’s a snake out there. A snake out there… A snake.”

“There are no snakes here. We have mongooses on the island. There are definitely NO SNAKES!.

“Okay. YOU go and have a look. But be careful. I saw it had stripes on it!

“Hmmmm. Snakes. With stripes on it? Where do you think you are Africa?

So slowly he opened the door to see what could be done about whatever it was. And also you don’t knowingly want anything nasty in your garden. Sort of puts you quite off going to sleep in your nice warm cosy bed doesn’t it? So stealthily he got down on his hands and knees, torch in hand; shining it towards the ‘snake’. And yes. There was definitely something there.. and with stripes as well. She was right! Time to do something, but what. Yes. Get the long handled broom. And a big bin of some description. Always good gladiatorial weaponry don't you think?.

So a few pokes later, proved it to be fatter than a snake. And it was not moving. Was whatever it was playing possum? Waiting for him to get closer and then WHAM! Trepidly, and with the big bin in front of him for protection moved some of the foliage to get a better look. Ahh! We’re all okay! It’s an Iguana. And it is about three feet long as well. A natural herbivore on the island. “Eats Shoots and Leaves,’ as some famous author once wrote. But seriously they’re quite harmless. And they absolutely love fresh lettuce leaves. Some people even have them for pets. They’re not what you might call cute, cuddly and lovable, but, it takes all sorts to make up this world. But why wasn’t it moving? It just lay there lolling its head from side to side; tried to stand up, but kept on falling over onto its side. Well, to cut a long story short, it ended up in the large black bin. Head down with tail sticking out the top.
Very curious. Normally, these creatures run and hide at the first sign of danger. Was it ill?

Now I have to come clean with you. This friend of ours has three plants. I’m not quite sure what their Latin botanical name is, but we all know them by the local name. ‘Mary Jane… marihuana, weed, dagga or whatever. Now this hapless iguana must have climbed over the wall on the hunt for some food. Saw, or smelt what it liked and proceeded to eat all three plants. Right down to the ground. There was not anything left AT ALL! It even dug into the roots to have its fill. So it is no wonder that it could not move.
IT WAS TOTALLY STONED OUT OF ITS TINY MIND! It was probably thinking to itself,
“hey man, just leave me alone…” I think that this must be the first time in history outside the medical testing labs that one of these creatures has been completely and utterly stoned. No wonder it couldn’t move. Poor thing. So it was placed outside the small walled garden, in a completely safe place to sleep it all off. In the morning it was gone. I wonder what sort of headache it must have had.

So while the Iguana was being moved outside, the kitten was suddenly the little Braveheart again. Rushing at the comatose animal in the black bin. Seeing there was nothing to be afraid of and hanging around quite closely. Then starting to leap up and down as if to say, ‘see! You don’t need a dog. Only me!”