Today we headed to Belem, a neighborhood about five miles outside the Lisbon center. This neighborhood is famous for two things: a pastry known as "pastel de nata," and having the two finest examples of Manueline architecture in Portugal. What is Manueline style? Well, we'd never heard of it either, but apparently it's Gothic with lots of fancy twirls and stuff (note: not the official definition). This style is impressive when seen in the huge (and I mean HULKING- it takes up two city blocks) 15th-century Jeronimos Monastery. It's simply stunning- walls and walls of creamy white marble and stone, all hewn with ropes and flowers and reliefs of animals. We viewed the adjoining cathedral as well, which featured both Portugal's first example of Renaissance woodworking in the choir loft, AND the tomb of the only famous Portuguese person I've ever heard of (explorer Vasco de Gama, and until today I thought he was Spanish. Sorry, Portugal).

I wouldn't say the Jeronimos Monastery was ten-euro-a-person cool, which is what they extracted from us to view it, but it was strikingly lovely nonetheless.

The other Manueline structure was a huge tower overlooking the river, called The Tower of Belem. The tower was on the edge of the city, on the riverbank, and quite a medieval sight surrounded by a moat-like river and a public park. I liked it immensely, even if Lisbon thought it was a good idea to build train tracks pretty much in front of it, with a filthy industrial train whizzing by every twenty minutes.

After viewing the Tower, we headed back to the center of Belem to its other landmark, the 200-year-old pastry cafe Pateis de Belem. I say "pastry shop," but truly I mean "Byzantine neverending hallways and rooms filled with tables and sugar-coated tourists." I have never seen such a cavernous, palatial space in which to serve carbohydrates. I felt as if I were heading to the basement of Gringott's just to find a table. This place apparently seats SIX HUNDRED people (and one NANPUG). But while you'd think those numbers would indicate tourist shittiness, color me shocked that the famous pastry pastel de nata was glorious, just perfectly warm and creamy. Pastel de nata is a tiny hand-held pastry filled with custard and dusted with cinnamon and powdered sugar. It's small but very rich, and one was enough for me (note: double that for my pastry-loving spouse).

To finish off our sightseeing of Lisbon, we boarded the infamous Tram 28. This is a San Francisco-style public tram right out of 1940. It has cheery drivers, a wooden interior, and an ancient braking system that makes you marvel at the fact you're not barreling into a farmer's market at 100 miles an hour on a downhill. But I digress...this is one of those guidebook "must do's!" that I tend to avoid like the plague; however, we'd bought all-day transit passes, and I tend to value proper amortization over the humilation of acting like a tourist, so on we went! In a nutshell: Lisbon is very hilly. Most people are lazy. This tram drives you up said hills, so said people may continue being lazy. If I sound bitter it's because we walked these f**king hills yesterday in the wind and rain, and somehow I will find a way for the throngs of tourists on that tram to pay for my suffering. (note: my suffering and indignity continued because that stupid song from "Meet Me In St Louis" is now stuck in my head..."ding ding ding goes the trolley..."  arrrgh)

To stop the crappy song in my head we had sundowner ginhinjas at a teeny bar by our hotel. Booze makes everything better!

So our two days in Lisbon are concluding; I must say I like Lisbon, though I don't love it. The tiled buildings and the Moorish architecture are gorgeous, but everything seems tagged with graffiti and just a tad filthy. It's a huge, gritty city, and I tend to prefer my vacation towns smaller and a bit less urban. But tomorrow we head to Sintra, often called one of the finest, yet most overlooked, small towns in Europe.