We are the only foreigners in this large gathering, a Portuguese, a German, and an American. The Cambodians show us how to dance the Cambodian dance as we dance to the Cambodian music around the huge wedding cake.

Villa, the Cambodian Antonio and Analee invited to eat with us in town while we were at the killing caves, arrived that night on his motorbike . He brought a friend with him. They are both the same age. Villa is in his 2nd year of university. The friend works and does not attend university. He also does not speak any English, so I never was able to understand his name.

They are each on a bike and Antonio and Analee get on one bike behind one and i get on with the other and away we go to our dinner. Villa takes us to a restaurant where his friend works, also a university student.

This is not a restaurant like we have ever seen. It is a Cambodian place and we are the only foreigners. Drinks are brought and then a plate of beef balls arrive. You eat the beef and vegetables with a stick. When that is gone there is a platter of muscles in shells and sauce. After that, another dish arrives. It is a great night and we all have a great time together.

Antonio leaves Battambang tomorrow and Analee the day after that. I will stay a few days more . Most backpackers have a limited time to travel and can't stay in one place too long. I have no time limit, though, and stay until I feel I am ready to leave.

As we chat at dinner, Villa mentions tomorrow he will be at a classmates wedding. Antonio gets all excited and asks if we can come to a Cambodian wedding. Villa says yes, we can sit at his table as his guests. There are a lot of weddings going on now. It seems much of the wedding is outdoors and couples try to have the wedding before the rainy season starts.

I protest that I really don't have clothes with me to wear to a wedding. The only long pants I have are hiking cargo pants. Antonio says that's the same he has and will have to wear. Villa says that will be fine, no problem.

Antonio cancels his bus for tomorrow and so does Analee. We will all go see what a Cambodian wedding is like.

Letting us off at our hostel, Villa says he will be by early tomorrow to take us swimming in the mountains . The next day Villa and his non-english speaking friend and the friend that worked at the restaurant, Samnang, all show up on their bikes.

We each climb on behind a driver and away we go. We ride for about 25 or 30 miles out into the countryside and into the mountains. We arrive at a village, Kamping Puoy. There is a large Khmer Rouge-era dam here. It is one of the few dams that survived and has remained functional.It was built by hand and cost thousands of lives. They say many bodies are buried in the dam. Now it is a popular swimming hole and weekend picnic site.

We sit crossed legged on a bamboo mat in a bamboo hut on the dam spillway while we eat Cambodian food ordered by our new friends. Then, we all go in for some swimming in the spillway.

We are let off at the hotel late-afternoon and told to be ready for the wedding at 7 p.m. Our 3 friends arrive, dressed very nicely . Antonion and I, in our cargo hiking pants, and Analee in her one and only dress she has with her, climb on the bikes once again. We ride through the Battambang night traffic, wondering what the night holds for us.

We can't believe what we see. It's a huge celebration. People are everywhere, all in formal attire. Antonio and I, in our cargo hiking pants, would look very fashionable on a moutain-side trail. But, not so much walking up the reception line leading into the wedding activities. Analee looks presentable in her only dress. There must be 20 or more people, alternating man and woman, all in formal wear, with corsages and all, lining the entry into the building.

The three of us get our Cambodian hosts aside before leaving the parking area. We explain we didn't realize how formal this would be. Cambodian wedding are two days long. The first day is when the family and close friends bring gifts and I think the actual ceremony is held . Then, on the second day the reception is held. This is the reception and we understood it was outside and informal. We don't want to embarrass the wedding party or our guests. Our hosts insist we are fine and just relax.

We walk through the reception line of Cambodians. They all smile and wai us as we walk. They even give each of us a small gift. Maybe they'll just think this is formal wear in our countries. I can't wait to get inside to sit at a table where I won't be so conspicuous.

The round table sits 8 or 10. Apparently, it is reserved for our Cambodian host. There are 6 of us, 3 Cambodians and 3 foreigners. Some Cambodians join us but when others attempt to sit our host says something in Cambodian and they move along. Only two of our hosts speak English. The others at our table do not. Then, a classmate of our hosts arrives and sits next to me. I am sure he wanted to speak English is why he chose to sit next to me .

All though the meal, all of the Cambodians made sure we 3 were well taken care of. They filled our plates and kept our drinks poured. They could not speak English, but would toast us and let us know we were welcome. Cambodians are very friendly people.

The Lazy Susan in the middle of the table was kept filled with different platters of food. When they were about gone a new round of platters with different foods would arrive. It was all very good, but it was Cambodian food and we didn't recognize any of what we ate. There were 8 courses served during the night.

All families in Cambodia, even very poor ones, are expected to have big wedding parties. In Asia, it's called having "face". Not "losing face" is important in all of Asia, but even more so in the Mekong region, where I am now. For the weddings, the families throw money around like it's water. It can be ruinous on the finances of the family, but it is preferred to "losing face" . I notice that Cambodians do not criticicize the way others act, dress, talk, how they look or dress or drive or where they live. Even in fun, like in America, we will often make fun of someones age or dress, etc. even in fun, it is just not done here. It would be considered causing someone to "lose face" to make fun, even in joking around. It's amazing how these people all support each other.

The Cambodians tell me a boy must have a minimum of $2,000 (a fortune to these people) to give the girls parents before they can marry. If the girl is from a more wealthy or important family, then the amount can go up to as much as $10,000 or more. It's not a custom or law, it's just greed of the parents, I am told. If the boy cannot get the money, then the girl will not be allowed to marry, regardless of how old she is. It seems the boys and girls here do not usually marry until they are in the late 20's or more commonly in their 30's. I think it takes that long to save the money . Couples do not live together without bing married. I am not sure if that is a moral thing or a legal one.

The evening is really interesting. We cannot understand anything going on and the band plays Cambodian music and sings in Cambodian.

After the 8th course is served and finished, there is a commotion on the other side of the room. Our hosts tell us the wedded couple is arriving. They walk up the center of the building along the arch of flowers and the line of well-wishers. We cannot see the couple walk the aisle from our table. but they walk to the front of the building. There they meet with someone (whoever does the ceremony, I guess). We cannot see over the crowd. A short ceremony is done, maybe about 5 minutes, then the band plays and people dance around the couple.

I think the main ceremony was on the first day with family and friends. Today is the reception part . I tried to find out if the couple is actually married on the 1st or 2nd day, but could not make our host understand the question.

Then, our hosts insists we dance. We protest but they insist. We join the dance around the huge cake. Everyone dances to Cambodian music in a cirlcle around the cake. The Cambodian dance is done with the hands mainly. You move the hands similiar to the way Hawaiians do. As we reach the dance area, different Cambodians are showing us how to move the hands and laughing and having so much fun.

As we dance around the cake, people are cutting large pieces of the cake out to take home. There are the plastic trays you get in take-away places to put the cake in. Also, there are all kinds of fruit to take. We didn't taste any of the cake. In my thinking I was thinking it was just cake. But, later on one of my bus trips, a Cambodian woman gave me some cake she had baked. It is nothing like American cake . I wonder now what the wedding cake tasted like.

Later another type of dance, similiar to country line-dancing was done. Antonio and I took a break while Samnang showed Analee how to do the dance. I got a video posted for you to see.

At the end of the night, envelopes were brought to the table. Everyone is asked to donate $10 to the wedding party. We knew this in advance, when we asked Villa the night before about coming. We filled out our envelopes and put our hosts name where it asked if we were with the bride or groom's party. On the way out the same reception line we came through, our hosts gave all our envelopes to one of the people in the line.

The wedding was a lot of fun and the Cambodians made us, the only 3 foreigners present, feel so very welcome.