In a sea of men

Thursday, November 05, 2009
Doha, Qatar
    As with most Middle Eastern countries, there aren't a whole lot of women out and about. Then again, it's possible I just haven't been where the women are. The most women I have seen here was at an expat mall and only 3 women there were locals, the rest, expats. But even if I go where there are a lot of people, most will be men. And I have discovered that I am reluctant to begin any casual conversations with the men from Muslim countries. By nature and practice, I am fairly shy anyway and have little to no ability to participate in "small talk" at parties and such. And yet oddly enough by curiosity and travel, I will strike up a short conversation with just about anyone to: ask a question regarding the local customs, ask for directions, ask for a shop, etc. etc. Yesterday I was in a shop with my driver and the shopkeeper. A Qatari man entered with his son who was wearing a white hat. I was so curious about that white hat that I found myself hissing quietly to the shop owner "Is it ok to talk to him?"  With Muslim tradition being strong here I didn't want to stomp on any toes by accosting this stranger in traditional robed garb and so I hesitated whereas in another country I would have just waded into shallow waters and hope for the best. Here, I am standing at the edge of the sea and wishing I could swim, so to speak. In the end, it turned out ok, my question was answered, and if the men were shaking their heads at the brazenness of a stranger, it was after I left and I'll never know. But it did show me that I am much more hesitant than I thought and much more cautious than I like. A foreigner can usually get away with a lot more than a local can but it's possible also to be a bit too "foreign" and I do want to avoid that. Somewhere is a happy medium and I'm still looking for it.
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