Luverne, Minnesota, United States
Couldn't pick up the rental car until 11, so we had this morning to take a little walk, fail to find another geocache, and catch up on this blog.
The hotel is in the building that used to be the Custom House--the first and biggest post office in St. Paul. It's an interesting building: our room on the top floor has celings 12' high, but the section over the bed is probably 20' tall. Must be a bear to heat and cool, but it's pretty.
We collected the car (a Jeep Grand Cherokee, about 2 car classes larger than what we reserved and paid for in advance, because they didn't have what we reserved), and headed out for some sightseeing. First thing we discovered is that the traffic lights in St. Paul, Minnesota, are the worst we've ever encountered (and that is saying something!). They are set so that you hit every single one red, whether you are heading N/S or E/W, and they are LOOOOONNNNGGGGG. When the city blocks are 200 feet long, and you have to stop every 200 feet, you find that you are furious pretty darned fast. Or rather, not fast, since going through traffic lights is so slow, but after only a very few lights! Note to self: do not drive in St. Paul, and probably Minneapolis is not any better.
We finally made our laborious way out of town (stopping for me to actually find a geocache), and we made an unscheduled stop at the Stone Arch Bridge and the St. Anthony Falls Lock. The Stone Arch Bridge was built in 1883 by a railroad baron to make it easier to get goods into Minneapolis.
It was used as a railroad bridge until 1965 and then was allowed to become derelict until it was rehabilitated as a pedestrian and bicycle bridge in 1994.
The locks were in use until 2015, and they are now managed by the National Park Service who were on site today, so we were able to get an unplanned-for stamp in the passport. I also nabbed an unplanned-for geocache.
We took a walk across the bridge and back, and down the lock and back.
I had no idea that for 50 years Minneapolis was the flour milling capital of the world. The city was originally a lumber capital, but then lumber was displaced by flour milling as the trains and boats brought in grain grown in the western part of the state. The story is actually quite interesting, and you can read about it here. You can still see signs for two of the mills for companies you will recognize: Pillsbury and Gold Medal Flour (which was General Mills). See photos. General Mills bought Pillsbury in 2001, but in 2003, the last riverfront mill (Pillsbury) closed.
This was a very interesting stop, and if you're in the area, I definitely recommend it. More commentary in the photo notes.
After we left the bridge and lock, we headed to AAA for a Minneapolis map, having been unable to procure one in Richmond. We ate lunch at Chipotle because it was conveniently located next door to AAA. It's probably a good thing that we don't have a convenient Chipotle at home, because I ate some of their tortilla chips for the first time, and I discovered that I like them very much. They are flavored with lime. Yummy!
That was all the sightseeing for the day; after lunch, we headed out to drive all the way across Minnesota to the southwestern corner of the state to Luverne, where there is a drive-in theater: the Verne. The theater plant is not all that interesting, but the story of the theater is. It was originally opened in about 1954. It was closed sometime in the late 1980s (sources only say that it had been closed for "more than a decade" when it was bought in 2000), and then reopened with a new ticket booth and snack bar.
These buildings are in excellent condition--far more modern and brighter than those at most drive-in theaters we've been to. The theater was then sold again in 2020 to a 21-year-old very recent college graduate native of Luverne who first began working at the drive-in when he was 16 and became the manager by the end of the first summer. We had commented on the fact that we didn't see anyone who appeared to be a grown-up, and then I found this article which explained that. (Tell me that young man looks 21! I'd have guessed 17.) Here is a short video from PBS with more about the history of the drive-in.
The movies, alas, as is so often the case, were not anything to stir our hearts with delighted anticipation. They were Paw Patrol and Candyman. I'm going to provide you with my opinion of these two movies, and I warn you: for the most part, this isn't going to be pretty. If you love one (or both) of these movies, or if you are dying to see one (or both) of these movies, then I recommend you just stop reading and skip to the photos now!
First of all: who puts together a billing like this: a cartoon for little kids and a horror film.
(Movie distributors pretty much control what drive-in owners can show on a billing, so this bizarre combination is not necessarily the fault of the 21-year-old owner.) The cartoon was first, at least, and I predicted that the vast majority of people would leave after it ended, which they did. I think there were six cars for movie #2.
Next of all: I don't care much for animated films, and I care nothing at all for horror. I figured that Paw Patrol would be okay, but that we would probably have to leave 10 minutes in to Candyman. Turned out I was wrong on both counts.
Paw Patrol was just dreadful. About three minutes in when they got to a revoltingly cheesy theme song, I realized that this must be a movie version of some Saturday morning cartoon. I looked it up to be sure--yep. (I know: the rest of the world already knew that, but I'm old and I do not keep up with what the 3-6 crowd is following adoringly.) And it was downhill from there. Normally I might identify the top five reasons this was a terrible movie (see my previous review of, say, Ad Astra (which I see I called "Bad Astra") for a sample), but in this case, there's just no way to narrow it down. This movie had no redeeming features AT ALL. The "plot" was a string of loosely related vignettes, none of them remotely believable. The writers (whoever they may be--and they need to find another career) felt not the least smidgen of need to adhere to any reality about anything:
- They ignored time: a few hours passage of time routinely morphed into some reality in which days had gone by and vice versa
- They ignored laws and practicality: a young kid, maybe 12?, drove around the big city in a huge RV without an adult in sight.
- They ignored any need for rational behavior: the young kid drove said RV to a "new headquarters building" in said city. The building was, evidently, standing completely empty awaiting the arrival of the Paw Patrol team from the country, although the Paw Patrol team from the country only came to the city because someone called for help. There was no indication that there was now or ever had been any plan to actually move there.
- They ignored reality, of course: the Paw Patrol is a group of puppies, who are not only potty trained, but they, too, can drive vehicles of a wide variety (dump truck, fire engine, helicopter/airplane (it morphs), motorcycle, and so on. Oh, and perhaps it goes without saying: they talk.
- They ignored every law of Physics there ever was. Most of them twice on Sunday.
Most conveniently of all, the equipment used by the Paw Patrol was fluid. From moment to moment every vehicle gained new capacities. They must be magic trucks and cars and motorcyles and plane/helicopters, as whenever a driver needed to do something or other, said driver only had to call out to the vehicle to provide it.
These cars were WAY better than the Batmobile, whose capacities were at least fixed. Chitty-Chitty Bang-Bang looks like your father's Oldsmobile by comparison. (One review I read said that all these vehicles were obviously toys just waiting to be sold to watching children. He suggested that probably the Paramount + version has an "add to cart" button at the bottom of the screen. Want a flying motorcycle that can suddenly develop sticky rubber wheels and drive up the side of a skyscraper? $24.95; add to cart.)
The dialogue was dreadful, the songs were clearly advertising jingles, and the puppies weren't even all that cute. This movie was Speed Racer bad.
By comparison, Candyman came off as a work of staggering genius.
I exaggerate (a lot) of course, but Candyman did have the following:
- Actual content: the movie is set in and around the gentrified Cabrini Green in Chicago and is largely about how communities (in the particular case, black communities) develop mythologies to help explain the things that happen to them. It is about how events that recur (lynchings of various different kinds dating back to the late 19th centry) become stories that form our understanding of our history and ourselves. Real questions are explored about the historical experience in this country of African Americans.
- Actual creative effort: the opening credits show the film company logos backwards, for example, and the Sammy Davis, Jr. song plays over those credits, beginning normally and then morphing into something strange and discordant. Appropriate to the content. The best creative element was a whole series of shadow puppets who acted out all the stories of the past. Beautifully done and quite fascinating.
- Although this is certainly fairly called a slasher film, a serious effort was made to mitigate the violence. After the first murder, you never see the whole scene directly; the camera moves you up above the action or around a corner, or you see it through a smoked glass window or the scene cuts to the aftermath. (Still much too violent for me, but really does de-emphasize the violence as the point of the whole endeavor. )
None of that is to say that I found the movie to be a success or "good." In fact, we thought a lot of it was a disorganized mess. They tried to do way too much--there were elements the function of which I have no idea. There were a number of scenes in which hoity toity art critics and museum curators talked hoity-toity art language (no idea what those were about). There was a whole subplot having to do with the main character's girlfriend's father (dead) which also seemed to have nothing whatever to do with the rest of the story. Worst of all (and pretty nearly fatal so far as I am concerned), they seem to have been trying to have it both ways: Candyman is a legend which explains past suffering and provides a sort of vengeance fantasy, and Candyman is a supernatural figure who actually can be called back to life and actually murder people. I don't mind either way, but the fact that we couldn't tell how we were supposed to be taking all this speaks very poorly for the "vision" of the movie.
But it was interesting.
We found a lot to talk about later, and I read more about it because I was curious. I learned that black horror is a thing, with a history and a set of expectations, and that this film is admired for breaking the mold in some good ways. I had no idea. I figure that given how few movies we have seen in the past few years that are in any way seriously artistic or dealing with serious content, this one at least gets kudos for trying on both of those counts. And any movie that makes me learn something gets a few more. I didn't love it and I wouldn't necessarily recommend that you go see it, but if you do or did, I'd be interested in your take.
But leave me out of any more Paw Patrol! Gack!
Tomorrow we head north a half-hour to the Pipestone NM. Then we're off to the northwestern part of the state--nestled right up to Canada where we will visit Voyageurs NP.
Skip
2021-09-19
There! See what that pet waste did?? and, as they say, OMG. Luverne! I spent a summer an hour away in Granville, Iowa (don't ask). The great getaway was to head into nearby sinful Nebraska, where you could bet on the dogs at the Aksarben (no, I'm not making that up) race track.
Skip
2021-09-19
Hey! Those are the same elevators that are in the "Majestic" Hampton Inn in Chicago, where Sally and I stayed just before it all hit the fan, after a show in Iowa City's spectacular theater at the University of Iowa. That hotel shared the building with the Majestic Theater, where "Hamilton" was drawing crowds. The Majestic is something of a historic building in Chicago.
Lee Naughton
2021-09-19
Your movie reviews are not to be missed! I’m glad you and Tim are traveling again because that means I get to live vicariously through your posts.
cphenly
2021-09-19
Well, Skip--you know I have to ask! What were you doing in Granville, IA?