The weather is perfect. Not too hot, not too cool, never any rain. The food is outstanding and unbelievably cheap. I love my job and my little apartment and I wake up anxious for another day to begin. I don't work too hard, but my students respect me and I feel as if I am making an impact on their lives. I laugh loud and often as I joke with the Thais and fellow farangs.  I sometimes wonder if I deserve this much happiness. Heaven might be a disappointment after living in here.  Everyday in Thailand is pure bliss. 

Except for today.

If anything else could go wrong, I challenge you to find it.

First off, I was supposed to go to the International Relations office Monday at 3 pm to sign yet another ream of papers. But after 4 days in Pattaya and a 9 hour car ride home, I totally forgot. So I went today, Tuesday. I get served by the newbie in the department , who is sweet but clueless.

I have given them 3 of the 2 required photos for my work permit and government id card. They want 3 more, but then decide since they only used 1 of the first 3, maybe it's ok. Maybe??

I had given them 3100 B ($93) for a work permit previously and although I asked for a receipt, no one took the bait. Today they handed me a receipt with an attitude of "You forgot to get this last time."  Do I counter? Of course not; for starters, they wouldn't understand a word I said.

I have been told the following:
1. You have a one year Visa, you don't have to do anything.
2. No matter what visa you have, you have to leave the country at
a) Nong Khai (Laos) or
b) Mukdahan (on the Cambodian border)   every 3 months to reinstate your visa.
3. You must go to Khon Kaen every three months to register with the immigration office.
4. All you need to do is mail in your updated address every three months to register with immigration.

Since I paid a premium $175 for a non-immigrant b multiple entry visa from the Thai embassy in NYC, I chose option 1, and do nothing. Turns out (at last reckoning) that I should have chosen option 3, and my visa expires this Saturday. (Picture me in Thai prison.)

So by tomorrow, Wednesday, I have to have 12 MORE pictures taken, get money out of the ATM, cancel my classes, get a copy of my contract, learn my address (I still don't know it), change the date on my airline ticket, take the bus to Khon Kaen, try to communicate to a taxi driver that I need to find the immigration office and bring one s*pile load of paperwork with me to prove I'm not a terrorist.

Oh, and by the way, this little visa expedition costs $87 in fees, in addition to traveling expenses. But remember too, that I just paid $93 for a work permit. Plus $4 for pictures.

Oh, did I mention that I won't get paid until January 1st? (I started Oct.6)

And did I mention that all of a sudden the ATM is getting testy and only let me take out 5000B ($150) limit?

I am beginning to sense how Thailand survives on minimal GNP. Falang money infusion.

On top of everything else, I can barely communicate with the clueless girl so I ask her to lead me to a Michael , from Australia, who works in the International Office when we are finished. (I speak fluent Australian.)

She takes me to one office to be stared at and another to sign either a disability or workman's comp or social security or health insurance paper - upstairs, across hallways, through rabbit warren offices full of cubicles. She hands me a paper written totally in Thai and says, name here, position here, faculty here, identification number here, sign here.
Wai--- She walks away. I call her back - "do they want the full name like on my passport? What do I put for positon - teacher? professor? English teacher? What faculty am I - Humanities or Dept of Foreign Languages? By ID you mean Passport number right? "  
She says, "Just sign it. I'll fill in the rest for you."

I still don't know what that paper was for.

When we are finished, I ask her to direct me to Michael, the Australian. She says, "Just downstairs."  Except by now we have actually crossed over a bridge into another building and I know he was in the first building. I wander up and down stairs asking for Michael the Australian to blank Thai faces. I am so exasperated at this point that I chant "F*k,f*k, f*k" on every step of the stairwell. Like a mantra, it seems to calm me down. I decide that my best option is to go OUTSIDE and come in again at the door where I started. Sure enough, I retrace my steps and find Michael who intuitively senses my frustration and says "Sit down, I'll get Ye, she knows everything." Yeah, or I may bite somebody's freakin' head off.

So it's off to Khon Kaen tomorrow. My blood pressure (which normally does not even register on the screen in Thailand) is almost back to normal.
I can do this, I can do this, I can do this...