Holy crap I'm f-f-f-f-freezing!

I did what I thought was sensible at the time, and left all my Tibet 'cold’ clothes at home . Thailand is about 24C in the winter, what the hell would I need them for?

Turns out the middle of Laos is not so warm.

I still have my jacket – THANK GOD – but I really, really wish I’d kept my thermals! Or even my jeans! I only have one long trousers, but it’s made for keeping one cool, or fending off mosquitoes. I don’t know how cold it is, and I wish I had more clothes, definitely, but the locals are absolutely perished. They’re dressed for Siberia, even during the day.

Anyway. As you may have noticed, I’m in Laos. And it’s lovely. The people here are so nice and so happy and so friendly, and the scenery is amazing. It’s beautiful. We got here by crossing the Mekong river (by speed canoe) at Chiang Mai, and staying one night in a some funky duplexes in Huay Xai. After that, we spent two days slowly cruising down the Mekong in our own boat. Apart from the severe wind chill, it was fabulous . We stopped at a village where the people live in bamboo houses, cut tobacco with rocks and grind rice with wooden hammers. The children there were so curious, even though they must see tourists all the time, and loved looking at the photos we took of them. While we were there, our intrepid tour leader was relaxing on the beach and letting some more kids take pictures of her, most of which focused on a single body part, or general stomach shots.

We spent the first night in a village called Pak Beng, where there was no electricity until dark, and only the upmarket places made it available all night. We had an entertaining Indian meal, where they got our order completely wrong - for example, I ordered rice and peanuts (Miss Bland, right here) and everyone got rice. Or two people ordered chicken samosas, and one person ordered two vegetable samosas, and the meat eaters got vegetable samosas, while the vegetarian got tikka masala. They claimed it was fun. I just made friends with the stray dogs .

We had great fun at breakfast the next day, where the guesthouse owner’s children tried to steal all our dried fruit and nuts. While I was trying to save my pineapple chunks from an army of tiny ants (a vain effort, as it turned out), Jamie was trying to wrestle my pumpkin seeds off a three year old girl. Needless to say, the three year old won, but she forgot all about the seeds when I started checking my oreo packet for tiny ants. She ran over to me, sat on a chair and held a wai position the whole time I was trying to open them. It was utterly adorable. Wai, by the way, is the greeting here. You put your hands together like you’re praying, hold them in front of your chest or chin (generally - the more important the person you’re greeting, the higher you hold your hands), and you bow a little. She really wanted an oreo.

The second day down the Mekong was even colder than the first, broken only by a tour of Tham Ting caves (which are a religious site and completely full of Buddha statues from devotees), and a visit to a village that produces Lau Lau, the local poitín . Two one-litre bottles were €4, so Matt got two and Jamie and I got one each (but of the less potent wine version). It turned out to be a bad investment, since Ben and Matt tried some of theirs last night (at the insistence of a card playing Belgian), and it was nothing more (or less) than paint stripper. The samples we got in the village were good, but the bottle stuff is just for gullible tourists. Don’t buy from them!

We reached Luang Prabang in the early evening, and it’s simply divine. Our guesthouse is lovely, and because us three girls are rotating the single room, I ended up with a suite. For three nights! Ben and Matt can hardly fit in theirs, but you could pitch a tent in mine. Mwhahahaha! The buildings are all in a sort of French colonial style, since the French took over here too (which results in bunches of snotty French tourists who refuse to speak English), and the whole town is a UNESCO World Heritage Site, so it all stays the same, all the time. And it’s beautiful .

There’s SO much to do here, it was hard to decide on just a few things. The first night was just dinner and a massage for Jamie and me. We got head and foot massages, but it was more like a battle of the wills. These two miniscule Laotian girls pounded – literally! – our heads for half an hour, then walloped our legs and feet. We were determined not to make any noise, which – I’m almost positive – made them go even harder. It was crazy.

Yesterday was our tour to Kwang Sii falls. All of us but Rhonda and Andy (who’s been here too many times to count, and prefers to just kick back and relax at this stage) decided to do a three hour trek through the jungle. Our guide, Vieng (who we also had on the Mekong), came with us, and we picked up a Siberian villager along the way to make sure we didn’t get lost. It wasn’t very difficult, and the scenery was gorgeous. We also ran into a leaf insect, a millipede, a caterpillar, a crazy giant green beetle with wings, and a bamboo swing, which was loads of fun (especially when Jamie accidentally swung Vieng into a tree) . We came out of the jungle at the top of Kwang Sii Falls, and paddled around on the top for a while, admiring the amazing views. Then we climbed down and met Rhonda and Andy coming from the bus. After a quick lunch (and some fun and games with a bony dog and a jealous, vicious kitten) we went to the swimming area. The water was perfectly blue, there were waterfalls on all sides, a rope swing and plenty of places for perfect photos, but OH MY GOD WAS IT COLD. Matt and Ben swung in and Jamie (who’s as tough as nails) waded in, but I walked a bit, fell over a stone and decided to get right back out. It was FREEZING! Once my body temperature was about even with the air, I gave it another try, and made it to the waterfalls for a few photos. I had to wear my wet trousers home though, since I hadn’t brought a spare. For anyone who knows my favourite pair of grey three quarter lengths, you might want to say your goodbyes soon. I don’t think they can stick this continent much longer...

After (a LOT) of night market shopping, Jamie and I met a Canadian girl at a crepe stand and had a great conversation with her. I’m so cold and uncoordinated at the moment, I’m beginning to get homesick again, but this girl and her boyfriend have been backpacking the world, on a strict budget, for TWO YEARS. Holy crap. They started in Ireland, which she loved. She even knew that Galway is the place to be, which meant that I loved her immediately . At one stage we were throwing insults around and she called me a Dubliner, which – for a foreigner – you have to commend. She knows her digs. She wandered off again, and we went for manicures and pedicures (I know I don’t do this crazy stuff at home, but I don’t trek or climb waterfalls or wash elephants either, so I think I deserve a €5 mani/pedi). It was as bad as the massage the previous night, but at least my nails aren’t breaking all over the place now.

I was so sore from the trek, the cold water and sitting on the floor of the boat for two days (the only place where there wasn’t much wind), that I could hardly get into bed. I feel like an old woman, which is so weird. My legs aren’t doing what they ought to do. I’m supposed to go and feed monks at 6am tomorrow, but I don’t think my body will co-operate...

This morning was our long-awaited elephant ride. We drove out to the park (with a French girl called Jean-Marie) and, in pairs, piled onto some lovely, quiet elephants for a stroll through the jungle . It was lovely! My elephant kept stopping for some leaves (do you think walking through the jungle for them is like walking through a sweet shop for us?), which resulted in a deluge of elephant pee and several stops for number twos... Our guide thought it was hysterical to refer to the former as BeerLao – the local brew. And I have to admit, it does look kind of like it. Foam and all.

After the ride, we dropped Jean-Marie at the huts, and the rest of us took off for elephant bath time! Woo! We each got our own elephant to "wash", though mine was rather reluctant to allow me onto its back. I think we all got the right elephant though: Mine didn’t want anyone clinging to her, but was happy to sit back and laugh at the others; Rhonda’s was turned around taking in all the views; Matt’s was doing its own thing, bouncing up and down in the water; Ben’s was chillin’ and having a drink; and Jaime’s was the crazy one the splashed everyone else for the whole bath.

I don’t have wifi in my room, but I’m typing this on my netbook before I forget it all. I’m going to try and find some (free) wifi restaurant, before we climb Mt. Phousi to admire the sunset. We have a dinner booking for Tamarind restaurant tonight, where we’re to be educated in the ways of Laotian cuisine, then a flight to Vientiane tomorrow morning.

Wish me luck!