I've noticed that I always start my blogs with some "me me me" comment. It annoys me, and every time I start a new one, I try to leave the word “I” out of it, but it’s bloody difficult ('Bloody’ is also one of my newest buzzwords, thanks to the Aussies). I know this is a blog about my trip, but even I think it’s conceited to always be talking about myself. So please try to overlook that. I know that Ireland is currently drowning and that there’s a Belgian guy in charge of the EU now and all sorts of important stuff, but it just doesn’t really relate over here. My group barely even counts me as European, so it has almost no effect on us at all, just as an amusing side story “oh, you’ll never guess what they did in little ol’ Europe now...” or “oh yes, that very ancient site in Europe is quite famous and I have/haven’t been there.” It’s peculiar.

Also, the BLOODY FRENCH . They’re everywhere. Like bacteria. Pushing people around, being obnoxious in markets and cafes, smoking stinkin’ cigarettes and speaking bloody French. It’s horrendous. They have no shame. But they ALL have tripods, and they ALL want to take the same picture, several times over, really, really slowly right in front of whatever landmark you’re trying to get a quick snapshot of. I had a bad evening yesterday, and I’m blaming it all on them. While I was updating my blog in a cafe, this loud and obnoxious French hippy couple came in and started flopping around in chairs, smoking everywhere and harassing ALL the waiters (for things like “ou est la best wifi spot? Is it ici? Ici? Where is it? Where is it?! IS IT ‘ERE? IS IT ‘ERE?!” and “give me uh pen. Uh pen. I need a pen give eet to me.” And “Vot ees this? Vot is it? VOT IS IT?”). In this part of Asia, “saving face” is a huge deal, and no one ever shouts at anyone else or fights in the street or gets thick at all. At times it’s irritating, since you can be pretending to be annoyed – for instance, in a market when you’re haggling – and they start backing away and looking upset because they’re embarrassed for you. OR, you can really be annoyed and it won’t make any difference, because if you can’t get whatever solved politely, you definitely can’t get it solved angrily. Anyway, this French girl annoyed all the waiters and I was glad to see that they started just ignoring her. Then she called someone on her phone, who was obviously from this area, and had to speak reeeeeeally slow French to get her message across, whereas if she spoke simple English, other-person-understand-now. But she couldn’t just speak slow French, she had to speak loud French. And get up and walk all over the cafe with her stinkin’ cigarette. And her hobo boyfriend just sat at the table with his legs crossed, his silly little cigarette poking up into the air, being obnoxiously French. Then she decided to write in her notebook on MY table, and blow her cigarette smoke in MY face. I was saving it (my face) so I packed up and left, but she REALLY annoyed me. It’s no wonder people hate them. Can you imagine an English person getting a pleasant reception in India or – hey! – QUEBEC? if they acted like that? It’s so rare to find a nice French person. I know they exist, and I’ve met a few, but they’re really letting themselves down on the world stage. Stupid France.

I forgot to mention that I had bought a kilo of mangosteens (and I have no idea how to spell that), which is this amazing fruit that only grows in this region (as far as Andy knows) and doesn’t ship very well, and French girl knocked them all over and lost some before waltzing off to twiddle her stupid cigarette and patronise the person on the phone . Once I’d gathered up the remainders, I went to meet Jamie and Matt on Mount Phousi to see the sunset, and it was gorgeous (apart from the stupid French tripods).

All of us had agreed to try dinner at Andy’s friends restaurant, Tamarind (which is another another cool fruity thype thing here), where they serve traditional Laos food, and tell you what it is and how to eat it. We met and walked there (I’m turning into a cripple, seriously, the walk nearly killed me) and it WAS lovely. Everything was fresh and light and perfect. And no chillies were mixed into anything. YOU COULD DECIDE YOURSELF! Isn’t that ingenious?! We adopted a puppy in there (all our stray pets are called ‘Fluffy’) and he was just adorable, but Joy, the owner, obviously wasn’t too pleased to have a stray puppy running around his restaurant, and he tried to evict him a few times. Fluffy wasn’t having any of it though, and even though Andy built him a nest outside (out of mats and flip flops), we had to leave him chasing his tail under a table of unamused Frenchies .

I also forgot to mention that I just had my first attempted burglary. While we were at the elephants, someone – and it had to be the cleaner – went through my backpack. Especially since I’m on my own, I’m meticulous about tidying up my room before I leave for the day. Then nobody has any business being in there for a long time. Since I had to leave my laptop (elephants and tiny electronics don’t mix), I was particularly careful about locking my bag yesterday. Now I know there’s a way in at the top (it’s a bloody backpack, for God’s sake), but I always do my best to cover it, and leave my least valuable items up there. AND, since I didn’t want my laptop bashed around if the cleaner went sweeping, I covered it with my sarong and my pillow cover. When I came back yesterday, the strings from the top opening were sticking out everywhere, which I was almost positive I didn’t do. And when I opened it, my sarong was missing. My laptop and iPod were the only valuables I’d left in there, and they were both still in it, but everything was NOT as I’d left it, and my ziploc bags were all pulled open . Also - a definite sign - I have a small plug attachment that has two tiny plastic prongs on it that could break easily, so I don’t put it in my plug bag, I wrap it in a scarf. I found it in my plug bag. Obviously someone was looking for money, and they thought I’d hide it in my underwear. I’m so relieved that my laptop and iPod are okay that I don’t care, but Andy is not very pleased at all, since Intrepid have a reputation to uphold, and theft is not a common feature on their itineraries. All is well now, but it’s one more negative for the ol’ backpack, eh wot?

So today we went to visit the Traditional Ethnic Museum, or some such place, in Luang Prabang. There were fancy clothes and hand made what nots and all, but I was (and still am) suffering from serious back pain for no reason, and I couldn’t really enjoy it. The flight in the tiny plane to Vientiane (though it only lasted 25 minutes) didn’t help with this either, as you can imagine. You will, however, be pleased to note that Vientiane is hot . Hot enough for no sleeves (except in temples) and lots of suncream.

Jamie and I are sharing tonight, so we scattered our stuff all over the room, tried out the free wifi in the lobby, and made our way down to the banks of the Mekong where we watched the sun set over Thailand. Beautiful! Had a lovely cheeseburger and hobbled back to the hotel slowly, where I am now sitting on my neck pillow, as it’s the only slight bit of comfort I can get. Le sigh.

A bientôt!