Last week, at a convivial (it involved lashings of drink; excellent, slightly eccentric, company and delicious veggie food) dinner party we were invited to join 2 friends, Barry and Janet, to sail with them to Portimao to watch a stage of the Lisboa - Dakar Rally, probably the greatest motor race in the known universe.
 
The following morning (rather hung over) we burbled down to their boat and sailed into Portimao . After a late lunch we went to find the site of the parque ferme (where the cars, motorbikes, trucks etc are parked and worked upon).
 
A few hundred yards from the marina we came across the vehicles returning from the first stages of the rally, a parade of real man toys. It was so exciting; it was a real spectacle;  it was noisy; the air was filled with a mixture of exhaust fumes, burning rubber and dust; it was........automotive pornography!
 
Even better, we were allowed to get into the pit areas and just wander around among the competitors watching the cars and bikes being stripped down, tinkered with and then put through their paces after being jacked up. All of this was watched over by the great behemoths - trans Saharan maintenance trucks - man fantasy Tonka Toys. Bloody amazing!! Barry and I lurked around until dark. It took the whole week-end to dry the drool on our T-shirts.
 
On the Sunday we were up at 6.00 (in the morning!) to get a free bus at 7.00 to the finish area of the stage.
 
As we stood in the middle of an Algarvian moor we watched the sun rise, saw the morning mist roll gently up the valley and descend on the track . As the mist rose we were able to see the spectacle of the local police in jodhpurs, riding bots and spurs chasing crowds of spectators all over the hills in a vain attempt to keep them to the allotted areas. Eventually this was resolved by putting plastic tape in front of the escapees and letting them stay, thus nobody lost face and all were happy.
 
The first bikes appeared through the remaining mist at about 9.00 . One could only admire and envy the remarkable skills of the riders defying gravity and the ballbearing and rutted mud nature of the track, travelling at seemingly impossible speeds.. The bikes, including quad bikes, arrived over about the next hour and a half.
 
As the last 2 or 3 bikes arrived they were passed by the first of the cars a mixture of buggy like vehicles and others which look like small delivery vans on steroids . The competitiveness of the drivers was stunning. travelling at phenomenal speed over the rough off road track. We were transfixed from 9.00 till about 13.15.
 
At the end of the event we wandered off to catch the bus only to find a queue that was taking about 5 hours to get to the bus park . We decided to walk. As we passed the head of the queue we did the very un-British thing of queue jumping - well we did feel a little bit guilty and discussed our feelings in considerable depth as we consumed tea and cake back on the boat an hour later - yeah right!
 
After this stage the whole rally moved onto Malaga where they boarded the ferry for Morroco and the Sahara desert towards Dakar. We all wished that we could go with them
 
We had a memorable day out which cost absolutely nothing, no entry fees, no bus fares. All we had to do was stand there and watch the most amazing vehicles and drivers/riders going balls out and risking their lives and limbs for our entertainment.
 
Ain't life tough!